Figured it was time to update since it's been a week or so. I haven't been in the best of moods. Ya know all that crazy body changing crap thats going on. :0(
I've had the worst morning sickness for the last month or so. Today I'm 11 weeks! It's also Keith's 25th Birthday! I told him in 25 years you'll be 50 with a 25 year old. It's so weird to think about. hahaha. It still kinda creeps me out that there is a living growing thing inside of me. The ultra sound went well. Babies growing at a good pace and has a healthy heart beat. Did any of my friends call to see how this went? HAHAH
Little sad that I haven't heard from any of my best freinds for the last 3 or so weeks. I guess since I can't drink I'm not worth the call. Or drinkings more importaint then your friends... or they feel bad drinking or smoking around me... FUCK that... I'm having a baby not dying. I can still come hang out assholes. It bothers me... but I thought it would bother me more. I've come to the point that it doesn't matter who's around anymore. These people I thought were these great friends are just proving so much to me and I'll be so much better off with out them anyway.
Works been going good. Still getting sick almost every morning, but I suck it up and take my zofran (meds for belly aches) Usually I make it to 3 or so before my tummy starts getting upset again.
Another weird thing. WOMEN are crazy... Everyone feels the need to tell me what I'm having since i'm sick or have heart burn. Everyone one seems to want to tell me their horror stories and everyone feels the need to always ask me how I'm feeling and talk non stop to me about babies. Yeah I'm definatly excited for this... but you mother fuckers are going to stress a girl out with the non stop baby talk. Preggo -idice.
I really wish I could hibernate for the next 6 to 7 months. Just lay aruond watching chick flicks... and being a stupid emotional women eating pickles and ice cream. hehehe
I can't take living with the guys much longer. We're suppose to move in the summer... but the every night playing wii in the basement, drinking and smoking non stop untill they pass out drunk on the couch gets soooo old. Plus I hate sitting around in the living room by myself... and like I said, the only people who have been there for me have been the guys. No one calls. No one cares to hang out. I know why the girls haven't called either. They feel shitty after making plans with me to come to a party and play games with me while everyone else was getting wasted ion the basement, so they all said they'd come and play games in the living room. Two of the girls drink so they could drink during the game and the other doesn't drink. They said they were coming blah blah... don't you know that no one called me and no one showed up. FUCK THEM. I sat upstairs watching tv by myself because the basement was to loud and smoke filled. Cheree came and hung out with me when she got done work. Same girl who would make plans with me every friday and staurday who I haven't really heard from in a few weeks. She called me last saturday morning to tell me about the great drunken funny night she had and to tell me she would send the video to my email.
I feel left out and it sucks. It's not like I'm not already dealing with bullshit in my head, but to feel abandoned by my friends just fucking hurts. I reall just feel like I wanna tell everyone off and tell them were they can stick our friendships. I could see it I was a bad friend but I'm not. I'm a great friend and reminded of that a lot. I'm honest, reliable, always offer to bring something over for gatherings and parties, always offer to help set up or clean and most of all always respectful of my friends and their feelings. I'm not one to ever make anyone feel left out, I'm not one to back out on plans last minute. Always inviting everyone over for summer BBQ's and most of the time paying for the dinners. I just don't get why I can't get the same out of a friendship that I give. Instead of telling them... or anyone how I feel, I've been just letting it kinda making me more and more bitter. Still haven't talk to them in 2 or 3 weeks now... have they called to see why they haven't heard from me? No... they feel guilty much.. or just don't fucking care about my feelings? ...
