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| So Day one of the rest of my life
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So I Live in fostercare, I'm senior in high school. Truth is I've always wanted a family. So i meet this boy who fits the bill. It wasn't even planned. Me & this boy go way back to the my freshman year in high school. Then We fought, I moved and that was that. So now three years later He finds me on myspace. We've been together for four months. Now, I know what I'm about to tell you all is crazy... First let me explain something. Ever since I was little it seems that I've been incapable of keeping a family. So to fastward this life story, This is the third placement. At first it was great, I was spoiled beyond belief. I got a cellphone, my birthday I got a cordless internet connection. Then like all things good things come to an end. I was fighting with their 11 yr old daugther who felt threatened. She felt like I was taking her place. In all fairness I don't know how to be a family member. I was the youngest of five girls. I was the youngest of triplets. So me be an example I'm a train wreck. So I get in the household being the oldest. I hadn't lived with any kids since I was a kid. So i was a spoiled little kid when I should have been the almost 18 year old. So I took advantage of the cellphone with using it excessively. The computer obession beyond belief. i had never had use of a computer. Well once but didn't turn out good. Never had a cellphone so it was like heaven. I mean and almost seven years of being in fostercare okay a little tired of it. It's consistent questioning and analyzing, and you're labeled. Those who don't know you label you and turn and whisper " gee wonder what she did" or she's a bad influence, i heard she did this, I heard she used to do this. It's bad being a teenager but when it's fostercare it's worse. now, don't get me wrong I am the luckiest Girl alive. A lot of what has happened in my life is my fault. Although now is my time, to stop talking and actually be an Adult and i can't do it with a Program that has regulations up the butt of what you can and can not do. I also can't do it in a foster family who once wanted to be a family but now it's a "roommate" situation. The biggest thing I've learned through these years is that you can't force yourself into a family. Being a family takes a lot of effort and work. Being a family means through the good and the bad. When you're older it's harder to be part of a family if you've never had a consistent one. So Now is my chance to let go so I'm moving in with my boyfriends family till I graduate. To be honest I'm scared of what I'm really doing. They offered and I took it. For once in my life I made a decision for myself completely. Well things at the foster home were going down hill fast. to be honest both sides deserve to be happy. I can't back out of this for once and for once it's completely my choice. It's the second biggest decision of my life. The first was ending contact with my mother, sisters and father. Life decisions are not easy, but to be honest it needed to be done. I need to face the music. I'm putting away money so that it's only temporary. I can't afford to ruin another relationship. Now, I have to tell the people are most important in my life the truth and I'm scared. But thats life , my choice, and I need to be an adult and step up to the many of plates I will have in my life.
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Posted by LShortyC26 on 2008-01-07 17:11:25 | Rating: | Views: 37
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