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Well i cry all afternoon yesterday at the thought that my relationship might be over!
He rings me at 5.15pm and asks me to cook dinner, so like the walk over that i am i do cook!!!
He arrives home at 5.30 doesn't really say much so i get myself all upset again (not infront of him though, it makes him mad).
I then ask if i can read the paper in which he says that there is more important things going on other than reading the paper! Then he goes on a huge slanging, shouting rampage about how much he hates being around me, can't stand seeing me, doesn't want to touch me, i make him misrable, i give him to much stress!
I was absolutely gobsmacked!!
I didn't believe what he was saying, he also doesn't think that i appreciate him! How can you appreciate somone after they treat you like that?! I was sobbing!
He said this is the last go that he is going to give the relationship, if i start again?!
What?
Start with what? (i don't do fuck all!)
So whilst dishing dinner up he starts trying to give me a cuddle!
Thats funny for somone whom doesn't want to be near you!
I return the cuddle and then dish tea up, mean while his daughter and her partner arrive whilst were eating, she asks for money for a new car that she has seen. So during tea he writes her the cheque and off she goes! She says she'll be back in an hour! I didn't fancy my dinner so i chopped it all up for the dog! She and her partner arrive back later and talk about the car that daddy has just bought for her, at which i get told i could do with a car like that!?
No, i don't want a car like that! I'd quite like a car that i want!!!
He then procedes to tell them when my driving test is!
I'm not in the slightest bit happy about this as i wasn't going to tell anyone! Infact i'm that upset about tears start falling!
I was so mad and still i am, i can't get that out of my head that he did that.......................................
............infact i feel like cancelling and re-booking it. I know it sounds silly but i didn't want anyone to know incase i failed! If no one knew they couldn't ring you to ask how you got on! I'm absolutely petrified about my driving test! I'm not very confident about driving!!!
Anyhow they sit there for the next hour talking about me as if i wasn't sat in the room! Discussing my test! I was sooo upset!
He can't possibly give a fuck about my feelings!!!!
Anyway around 10pm they leave and i go up to bed because i can't possibly arsed to speak to him! He hasn't slept in the same bed as me for some time so i was surprised when he got in behind me and snuggled up to me! He started trying to get me turned on! At which point he said please will you get your vibrator out we'll just have a bit of foreplay!
I was so upset and told him no! He hadn't slept with me in ages and early that day he didn't want us to be together anymore! Nor did he want to touch me!!!!
The tears started flowing again! I didn't sleep a wink!
He rings me first thing this moring he had maybe have only left the house 30 minutes, to ask how i was and to say that we were having dinner with his daughter and her partner in our local resturant!!!
I was totally devestated, i couldn't hide it! I don't think that its appropriate to go out when were having the issues that we are!!!! I am not the kind of person that can pretend everything is ok when it isn't! I'll end up sat there being really quiet! I explained that i thought he shouls cancel it but he said he'd go on his own! When i said that would be fine i'd sort my own dinner he then again told me he didn't want to be with me, it wasn't going to work unless i tried more!!!
Me try?! I understand that men don't understand women but what will it take to get back into his head that it takes time to rebuild things when things have gotten so bad!
I'm heartbroken, tonight should have been our quality time together!
Is it too much to ask to be happy?!
Why does he have to control me?
I'm not allowed an opinion!
He always has to right!
If i comment on something it turns in to an arguement!
Whats with the mind games?
do i deserve to feel like i'm being bullied?
He tells me i should be more grateful!
Apparently i'm lucky to have him!
He told me to get a part time job!
He then said he's happy with us working together.
We can go on holiday whenever we choose!
Stop shouting!!!
Yet he shouts!
Shut up now he'll say!
Yet he is still allowed to speak!!!
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Posted by LMarie on 2008-04-15 10:06:40 | Rating: | Views: 112
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Thankyou for your comment, i understand and truly agree with everything you have said!
I am looking for some work and have applied for something, i don't believe our relationship will work forever because one day i'd like to get married and have children and he doesn't want that................
.....i just maybe wish he would change his mind!
Thank you
xx
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Posted by LMarie
on 2008-04-16 03:01:43
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lmarie
emotional abuse is still abuse. i had all kinds of abuse in my marriage and emotional to me was the worse. if he hit me it healed but the words never would leave my mind. they hurt me terribly. please take care. k
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-04-16 05:20:21
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