Ok, so I havent exactly been on this diet thing for as long as i planned, I just lost 20 pounds, and am down to 220, so, im slowly getting there, little by little. Also, Me and Justin broke up like 2 weeks ago, and that night i found out about it, i went to go get drunk, and i lost my phone :[
So I havent had a phone, for now the 3rd week! And anyways, him and I arent together anymore, because April decided that she was still in love with him, and so she moved that Wednesday up there with Justin, and they arent comming back to Austin ever again, oh fucking well, since that happened... Ive been drink quite a bit, and Im really starting to like alcohol now :D
But never as much as weed, speaking of weed, I hit up Efim's place this weekend, this Saturday, i went over there, looking to hang out, and smoke some speed, BUT the stuff they bought, was ALL cut, so that sucked! So then i wanted alcohol, so i bought the 18 pack, and got a bit drunk, threw up like 4 times, LOL
But thats not what i told Efim though, LOL
And speaking of Efim.... after his friend Shorty left, we were sitting there, and smoking pot, and then BillSack came over, with Jessica, and Pegan Megan, we sat there, and drank for a minute, and then when that was over....they left, AND...Efim and i started making out.. and then thats when it all happened, Efim and I had sex, i was really planning NOT to do that, just there was alcohol, and pot mixed together, and i thought at that moment and time, that it was OK, and it wasnt, he said he was gonna leave back to Russia when he gets a chance, and he joked around, and said that he will forget about me, and then i was like "::Rude face::" and then he grabbed my face, and said "you know I would never forget about you" BUT on his part, I dont think he could stay hard, because he stopped, and he tried to do it, but it was over in like 2 minutes, so it doesnt really count, but it does, because it actually was intercourse : |
Im so ashamed, I didnt want to do this, because, now our friendship is totally different, it when from just friends, to friends w/ benefits :|
Not good! Well, I have a feeling that he DOES like me, because he would kiss me, and we HAVE made out before, i just hope that he doesnt tell anyone of my friends, such as Logan or anyone, you know? I guess we will see how that goes, LOL
Anyways, Im kinda embarressed to even talk to him anymore, Im scared of what might be different, thats why i didnt want to do that, well, its already happened, so i must be optimistic about the future, tonight, tomorrow, mabey even this saturday, or even when we hang out again, i dont know, but its now all totally different!! we will see!
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