9:15am
Well, these past 4 days have been a hell for me, and it hasnt even been a week, its going on 5 days as of today, and it seems like an internity!!! But I can wait for him, i just hope he feels the same way about me, and i have alot of questions in my head as of his being gone, i dont even know if he's alive still, i havent heard from him since that Thursday he told me he was leaving, Do I even cross his mind? Has he tried to call? Does he miss me? What is he doing over there? Am I the one he cares about? Why hasnt he called? I cant believe that his boss only now wanted him, its been 2 weeks as of last night we have been boyfriend and girlfriend! I hope all of this turns out for the better! Did he just forget about me as if we arent together anymore? Whats the deal? There are so many questions to be answered, mabey they are just WAY to busy to call me, who knows... I dont! I wish i did!......

12:00 Noon

Ok, I edited this, and updating this, i call destiny, and now i know they are alive at least, they have been there 4 days, and they are petitioning in Little Rock Arkansas, and I was wondering why they werent calling at all, and she said that they just have been really busy, because they stop and go to sleep at like 11 at night, because they are super tired, and Destiny says that Justin has been talking about me non stop, and he really misses me, She said that he has been a good boy, and not picking up other girls, she said that she and Chris will only be there like no longer than 2 months, because they cant do that for that long, and when they leave, justin will stay there, well, i know for sure that i wont see them till like July, i swear Justin better be back AT LEAST for his birthday in August, the 25th to be exact, or i will be pretty sad, i told her to tell him to give me a call once in a while, shit, But atleast i know they still are alive, and not in jail or anything, they said that they will be there in Little rock for like 3 weeks, and then head to california, that sucks that i cant be there with them, i really wish i was, it sucks that i cant even see his face for ATLEAST 3 or 4 weeks, just to stop by, but who knows, after 3 weeks, it will be hard for me to see him for only a few hours, and not be able to hold him for a night you know? in 3 weeks, it will be June, and then it will be crazy, i would have only 3 weeks left to go of school, and then i will be going to Canada 2 weeks after that, to visit megan, But Im on this diet, its the Quick Weight Loss Diet, it really works, but i want to be on this diet at least until July when i go to Canada, i want to loose atleast 40 or 50 pounds before Justin comes back, i want to be his deadly desire, well, mainly for myself, because my whole family made me feel like shit this past weekend about my weight, and i dont think ive EVER felt as bad about myself then i did this past weekend, so i went on the diet, and i really dont care what my brother's say, and IF my mom wants to stick to it with me, then thats cool, but i cant wait to go home and eat me some damn salad!!!!! Im so hungry, its good to over eat the salad and beef patty for the first 3 days, and drink like 8 8oz glasses of water!! everyday, and then the 4th day on the diet you have to measure all the salad and chicken, and every 3 days AFTER the 4th day, you go back to eating Beef for a day, its easy, but you CANNOT have anything else, its crazy, but it works, i was gonna pack my salad and beef today, but that didnt work out, because my father didnt buy all that salad fixings, but i dont think ive ever been more serious about loosing weight before, but I am very serious about loosing weight, mainly for myself, but also for Justin, ya know> Im tired of being fat, and people seeing me as a overweight person, im 240pounds today, and today is the first day, i want to get under the 200 line! Then i will be happy about myself, ya know? I wont give up at all this time!  I will write a diet blog everyday, the weekends are the hardest................... AND the most DRASTIC thing Ive ever done, but im quiting weed until Justin comes back! Yep, its gonna be a bitch when i have to refuse it, come fridays at G-man's house, mabey i should just stop going to Karaoke all together.... Crazy i know, I will see how that goes on Friday, or even Thursdays, who knows, but i guess we will see, So Read my Diet blogs!!!!! Please give me encouragement!! I will need it!