Firstly, thanks for the comments to those who left some for me :]. However, H, isn't such an adorable boy as you might think! He's very sweet with me, he's kind loving and caring but around other people you could say he isn't that nice a person. He smokes and drinks, as I used to, and dabbles in minor drugs like I did a few years ago so I would be a hypocrite to dislike him for that. You see, a few years ago, I went through some major changes in my life and decided to rebel and that is why I am so happy and lucky to be where I am now. I'm an A and B grade student at A Level when I was expected 13 U's at GCSE!! So it would be unfair, to bring another person down when I know they are going through their rebellious times just as I did a year ago. 

 As long as he is nice to me, which he is, I personally don't see the problem and I suppose there are good sides to his attitude. He is a well respected lad where I live (on a very stingy council estate!) and I know that when I am with him I am safe. That counts for a lot where I live, if you don't know people there's nothing good about being a loner. On the other hand, I have known H all my life, his mum used to babysit me so I know him inside out - how to calm his temper, how to make him laugh, how to make him kind and sweet. Not that he needn't try, he has always been sweet and caring with me. Like he said to me a few weeks back, I am the female version of him. I went through what he was going through, I quit smoking, don't drink and I would never touch another drug in my life; I got off my butt basically and went to school and tried really hard to get where I am on my own because nobody was there to help. I want to be the person to help him, and I think I am.

Since he came back into my life a few weeks ago I have noticed a dramatical change: he smokes very rarely when he is with me, the other day he only smoked 2 and he was with me about 8 hours. He would normally have smoked at least 20 by then! Also, as far as I know he isn't doing any drugs any more, as he looks to be healthier and he is aware of what is happening around him. He came out of school like I very nearly did, with no GCSE's and no aspirations but the other day we discussed careers and he told me he would ideally like to join the army so I think its wonderful for him to even consider something, as he wouldn't have done before. I want to be there every step of the way for him, as I know if he had been around he would have stopped me rebelling in a matter of days rather than letting my experimental teenage years last 3/4 years.

Hope I'm not boring you all with all this rubbish, don't want you to be put off me hehe . I just feel like everything is coming into place for me at the minute, although I am obviously hurting over my past relationship having H there even just as a friend is benefitting me. He's my link to the past and is helping me move on into the future. My family are closer than every and my nephew is almost 6 months old and his development is amazing, he already appears to be a very intellectual person. I don't know where he got that from! I'm the only one to even finish school in my family, never even mind be at college and considering university. I have great friends who have been there for me through everything, the type where you don't see them for ages and when you do see them its like it was only yesterday, I love it when certain things don't change. I have friends at college but I like to keep them separate from my home life, as I like to be with my work mates. I have learnt over the years that sometimes being too close and constantly around some people can be a bad thing, and separating myself recently from the various groups in my life is beneficial and possibly even more rewarding.

Sorry if I am talking like some posh git hehe! If you saw me in person, you would probably say I am the most common person you know. I just prefer to type properly, for some reason. I swear, talk in slang and talk in a relaxed manner just like anybody else my age. I dress in jeans and hoodies, wear chains and love ballet pumps and trainers. I'm no different to anybody else, but at the same time I am a very unique individual.

Anyway, today is going well so far but the lessons are tiring. It has been one lesson after another today, so no free periods so I am typing this in my dinner hour . Doesn't matter though, I have already eaten! I eat in class, although we're not allowed simply because I can get away with it. Probably because I might chat and be a bit of a giggler time to time but I work hard in class and come out with okay results so it doesn't matter. I think it would be a different story if I didn't do well.

Hope you're all okay, sorry if I have bored you!

♥ Kris ♥
xXx