|
Hi All, I know I haven't been here in a long while but there has been so much going on in my life I just didn't know what to put down. Firstly, I suppose I should let you know about H. He hurt me really badly, it turns out that as well as seeing me he was still being 'over friendly' with his ex and ditched me at fair to see her. She text me the morning we was supposed to go to fair, to let me know all of this and he didn't deny it. He confessed to it all. So needless to say, I was hurt, but the most surprising thing is I wasn't heartbroken. I still went to hairdressers, I still went to fair but just went with my girl mates instead and I still had fun. I realised something really important that day... that I didn't love him at all. I still loved my ex and because he reminded me of him in so many ways he was just comforting me and making me feel less lonely. That's the sad part, I let my heart get hurt when it didn't even mean anything.
Anyway, like I said I did go to fair, but only after I emailed my ex boyfriend. Stupid I know, but I could still rmember his email address and I could still remember his mobile number. I asked him how he was, told him what H did to me and ended the email, with tears streaming down my face, typing the words 'i still love you' on to the email. I was naive, I was already hurting. H was my best friend, what more did I have to lose. All J could do (my ex boyfriend) was tell me he hated me and send some really horrible email. I had to give it one last shot.
'1 New Email' came up on my screen minutes later from J. My heart pouding a read it with one of my male friends by my side comforting me. He told me 'it'll be alright' and of course, as always, he was right. The email from J wasn't all that long but it didn't need to be, it said what it needed to say. He told me how sorry he was to hear what H did and that he would always be there for me. He told me how he hasn't had me out of his mind since the day we split up and how much it was hurting him not having me around. He told me how he cried infront of his friends (this is from a guy who never ever cries) and how he kept all the pictures and all the letters we sent each other. I didn't believe him, but he ended it with 'I still love you too'.
Beaming, and bursting in to tears again at the same time I hugged my male friend so tightly as I was overjoyed. I felt like the part of me that had been missing for a long while had finally come back. I replied to his email asking him to meet me at fair that night, and he replied back saying he'll be there for definate. And he was. I was with my girl mates and I was passing his street which is on the way to fair and I saw a tall guy in the darkness running up to me and shouting my name. He hugged me and told me it would be okay. I believed him and I still do. J just smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked me to meet him later long because he had to take his little brother around for an hour so I agreed, gave him a long sensual kiss to remember me by and left.
We met up later and we talked. IN GREAT DEPTH for what seemed like an eternity. We held hands and walked around and went on a few rides together just like when we first met (he asked me out last time round at the fair the year before you see). I couldn't wait any longer. He just had to be mine. So, I took the chance and asked him if he would like to give us a second try. He said yes, scooped me up in his arms, lifted me up off the floor and span me round telling me he loved me over and over again. IT WAS AMAZING. We went on the ferris wheel and it stopped at the top for a few minutes so I was scared, he just held me tight and said some of the most beautiful things ever.
And, a month on we are still going out me and J and it is better than ever. We have now been together nearly 14 months (apart from the 3 weeks we had split up) and I can't imagine being apart from him again. Every day is amazing, it just gets better and its like the honeymoon period we went through in the beginning last time round only this time it isn't going anywhere - every day is like a honeymoon. He's my absolute world, and I love him more than words could ever say. He makes my heart beat fast just by looking at me. God, I'm so so happy. I love him more than the world.
♥ Kris ♥
|
| Views: 118
