Yes, it's late. It usually is in my life.
There's a knock on my door. Who could possibly be knocking on my door at around midnight? I answer it.
"Hi, George."
I look outside to see Teal- my point man at the Columbus Denny's- standing on my stoop. I guess anywhere else it's a porch. If you grew up in New York, it's a stoop. I have a porch in the back of my house, only it's properly known as a veranda. Personally, I'd rather have the veranda in the front of my house, where I can sit in a lounge chair, watch all the cars go by, wave at my neighbors walking their dogs, and-
"Teal, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Why are you knocking on my door at midnight?"
Teal looks at my astro turf door mat. He sighs.
"What's the matter?"
He looks in my eyes.
"You wanna come in? Something to eat, or drink, or whatever?"
After a pause, he reaches for the handle on the screen door. I let him in, and he wipes his feet on my indoor mat. My cats scatter; the TV shows 'Sportscenter'. He seats himself on my couch in the living room. He appears tired, like he's been out walking for hours.
"You alright?" I ask.
"I will be," he says softly. "I don't think I am now."
I seat myself on my recliner. I can hear my wife toss around on the bed in the master bedroom. "What happened?"
"I don't know why, but every so often I make myself into the biggest fool on the planet."
"What, you've become a Cubs fan?"
He stares at me, not comprehending.
"Never mind. Why do you think you're the biggest fool on the planet?"
He sighs again. "George, I'm hungry."
"What would you like? A sandwich?"
"PBJ?"
"Sure." I go into my kitchen, and pull out a plate, a butter knife, and both the peanut butter, and a jar of my wife's homemade mango jelly. "Again-"
"I got stood up tonight."
"Oh, Jeezus, Teal, that's happened to the best of us. Wheat bread?"
"Sure."
"I've been stood up. By a girl I should've known better than to be shootin' for."
"Thing is, it's not the first time I've been stood up by her."
I turn to him, and he looks very, very defeated. I now acknowledge that his eyes are red, like he's been crying. I'm used to a woman's tears, and their penchant to seek my shoulder; I am clearly NOT accustomed to the tears of a seventeen-year-old boy. He looks so crestfallen that my first instinct is to embrace him with one of the bear hugs I love giving those closest to me, but, frankly, I don't even know who this kid is. "Not the first time?"
"Actually, the third."
Oh, boy. "How could you let this happen to you three times with the same girl?"
"I'm a jackass."
"I was gonna say, you know, you're not a jackass, you're just...well, if you get stood up for the third time by the same girl, I don't know."
Teal smiles, for the first time since he came in my door.
"I guess you really like this girl?"
"At first sight. Back in eighth grade. Head over heels, the first day."
"Long time ago."
"All I've been doing since then's trying to get her attention. Trying to make headway. Whenever I think I've gotten someplace, she pulls the rug out from under me. Well, tonight's the last time. No more."
"Good."
"It's like, how can anyone be so cruel?" he asks, taking a bite out of the sandwich I've made for him. "It's like, does she have a heart beating in there someplace?"
"Look. There are two types of people in the world," I say softly. "There's Charlie Brown, and there's Lucy, holding the football for him. I mean, why be Charlie Brown if you don't have to?"
"You're always the voice of compassion," the voice says behind me. My wife, Carolyn, stands in the doorway of the kitchen. "And, your name is?"
"Teal."
"Like in the color?" she asks.
"Yep."
"And, who ARE you?"
"Teal," I say, pouring a glass of Sprite for same, "is one of the servers at Denny's and he lives over by your cousin Donna's. He was feeling kind of abused tonight, so he came over for a smile."
"Ah."
"Teal, this is my wife Carolyn, I'm thinking we kinda woke her up."
"I'm sorry."
"No problem, Teal," she says. "Just keep it down, will you?"
"Yes Dear," I say.
Teal sits, eats his sandwich. I sit next to him. "Here's what you're gonna do."
"Hmm?"
"Tomorrow morning, you're gonna wake up, and it's gonna be a brand new day. You're gonna get ready for school with a clear mind. You're gonna go, and you're gonna be you, you're not gonna kick yourself in the rear anymore. You're gonna hang out with your friends, and it's gonna be like it always is, it's a new you, you're not someone's doormat anymore. This girl has become vapor, Teal. Vapor."
"Vapor."
"Yes. You're gonna put this behind you. And you're gonna meet someone who IS worthy."
"That's what they all tell me."
"You're seventeen. I didn't meet the woman in the bedroom until I was thirty-six."
"Uh-huh."
"A new you, Teal. No more doormats."
He smiles faintly. He looks glum, and a little sick.
"You want a ride home?"
He nods.
"Finish eating, and we'll go."
Teal continues with the sandwich. 'Sportscenter' continues with analysis of th upcoming NBA finals, which interest me about as much as 'The 700 Club'. I hear my wife's renewed slumber in the bedroom. I put on my sandals, and grab my keys.
Just another day.
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