One thing I have been noticing that the world agrees that the economy everywhere sucks eggs. I understand that. I live in VA. I live in the US. I live in a small city. I live in a small house. I live.

I have goals that I want to reach. If you have been following my blogs (before they became sporadic) you would know that I am a teen mom. I am now 22 (forever 21 in my mind tho) and my son is 4. He is the love of my life but I have been struggling with my own immaturity and the forever burden of providing not only for myself but for him also. His father is non-existent and always have been since conception. I've been unemployed a lot more than I've been employed the past 2 years and what I wouldn't give to know what a 10 dollar bill looks like right now. I struggle with depression and insanity. I also am a fibromyalagia sufferer and I hate working out. Just thought I would throw that out there. I am a foodie and I am currently dating the best guy in the world, G.

There you are all caught up. So here we go!

I have been sitting at home since late May trying to decide on which direction I want my life to go in. When I was younger I always dreamed of being a ER physician. I want to be the deciding factor (along with Jesus) between life and death. ALthough I don't want my life to become my job, I am willing to give a chunk of me to enjoy something that I do. When I first went to college (VSU) I was enrolled for Biology with a nursing track. Meaning I would be an official RN after 2 years and still pursue my Bachelor's degree in biology. Well, at the time I was a manager at McDonald's and work got in the way. I didn't even complete a semester. So then I decided to switch my plans completely and do something I was good at....computers. I was struggling with science but I was making it. I was willing to work for it but again...work. But I got a job that kept me from going to school completely. So I took a yr and a half off just to work. I quit that job because the company was going under and enrolled in a technical college. I did great for the first 6 months then I discovered how much I hated the major.

Sooo...between then there was sporadic work and school and now here I am.

Of course there is a lot more to that story but lets get to the reason for this blog. Like I stated before I have plans.

1) CNA Certification- I want to start on my track to the medical field. This is the first (and fastest) step to my life dream. (Of being a doctor remember???) I am searching high and low for a way to pay for the class. The lowest amount I saw was $400. Being unemployed I'm struggling to come up with the money but I won't let that deter me. I found a way to make 200 a month. Donating plasma. I give blood all the time so why not get paid for it. 2 months and I will be able to pay for my class. (Unless I get a job then sooner!)

2) LPN- I want to get enrolled into Medical Careers Institute. I already got accepted into the program but I just can't get the $100 enrollment fee. So I got a solution to that too. I got some money coming to me from various sources and I am going to use some of it to pay that. If I get unemployment then it will be on! I could do them both!

3) RN- Hopefully by this time I will have been working as a CNA and then a LPN. This is about a year and a half away from me. Maybe a year and 8 months. Depends on how fast I can come up with some money for the previous two.

4) Medical School- This will be the most difficult. First I have to take the impossible MCAT's. That test is crazy hard. My best friend took this test twice and her schools were good enough to get into any of the schools she applied for. I wish her all the luck in the world tho. She said she wants to take the CNA classes with me so she can get some experience. She graduated from XSU with a Bachelor's in Chemistry. Go girl!!! I had to throw that out because I'm so proud of her.

5) Support Group- This is number 5 on my list but I want to start one soon. I was asking around and there are absolutely no self support groups (or any other kind either) for teen moms. My significant other and I both are (were in his case due to a tragic accident) teen parents. He wants to start one for teen fathers (who want to take responsibilty). I'm so excited. First, however I am working on making contacts so I will have as many resources as I can to be prepared. I can't just go all gung ho with it. I am trying to take my time and research and talk to people before I start recruiting members. (Unless they want to help with the development part)

So that's what I want to do. But I have to take this all day to day. I have a history of trying to do too much too soon. Or not thinking anything thru. I have to admit that I have always wanted to do all of these things. (The last was added after I experienced it) I have goals and dreams. I want to reach them. On the day-to-day thing I am going to see my doctor (finally) about my depression. I am trying to find a place with a pool so I can start on water aerobics so I can gain some muscle strength to defeat this fibromyalagia for good. Or at least ease the symptoms some. The pain and fatigue are a bitch.

The only person I have shared my feelings with are my significant other. He supports me just like I knew he would. I love him so much. He is my rock. Well I am on my way to see him now so I must wrap this up. Much love my thoughts.com family. :)