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Well I survived day 1 of a new start. I have come to many conclusions today. I realized that posting my feelings last night really helped me. I got it out. I am still sad and I am sure I will be for some time to come, but I know it will pass and he will always be in my heart however not every day in my mind. Eventually is the key word. I have come to realize that I have overcome A LOT of heartaches in my short existance on this crazy, messed up planet. I can do this. I talked to a very sweet woman yesterday that really helped me out. She had such kind words to say to me and trust me it was something I needed. I think I am going to make another resolution to try everyday to not only post the negative things in my life but to post a HAPPY memory with anyone that happened at some point in my life. You see I teach preschool and when I write letters to parents if I am having problems with their child I ALWAYS point out at least one positive thing that their child does. It makes the parent feel good even when they are being told their child is being a pain lol.
So tonight I am choosing to post about my trip I took in September 2006 to Florida. It was a surprise visit me and my parents planned up for my Grandma's 80th birthday.
OK, so my flight took off at 615am on the Saturday we were having her surprise party. I was so excited to see them and I felt so accomplished as I was able to afford on my own my airfare and a rental car. I was grown up going to see my family and boy would they be so proud of how I turned out. Well I landed in FL I believe around 10am and of course I run into a problem at the airport car rental. No reservation... WHAT?!?! Well needless to say I ended up working it all out and got a car and I was on my way. Mom was making her homemade lasagna. MmMmMm....Nothing like home cooking. I was so excited to see everyone. I got there and my brother helped with my luggage I hugged my Dad and started to get to work on getting things packed up for the party. When we were all set to go we packed up in 2 cars, Dad with me and Mom with my brother and we headed over to my Aunt and Uncles. My Grandma lived with them so that was where the party was going to be. We hurried up blowing up balloons and getting things out and when I had a nice bouquet of balloons we headed in. She was is her room so I walked in and started singing "Happy Birthday to you" and she just stared, mouth open in shock. She pointed to her computer and kept saying, but you are there. You said you were sick. We talked a lot on AIM so I had to have a reason why I wasn't around right? She was so happy, we took pictures, had good talks, good meal, and all around good times that day. The next day I wanted time with my Dad so I took him to lunch and it was his choice. Of course he chose a homestyle buffet place and we had a wonderful time. God I miss him so much... ANYWAYS, this is supposed to be happy right? So during my visit My Mom and I went to the Casino for our time together. I took my cousin and her friend swimming. I drove 4 hours and stayed a night with another Aunt and Uncle. It was nice. I was sad to see the time end, however there is no place like home and I love being home as well. I am glad for many reasons I took that trip. Less than 2 weeks later I was playing softball on a co-ed team when I got the call from my Mom. I knew something was wrong. She wouldn't have called then. She knew I played softball every Tuesday night. "Grandma's gone" is all she said. I was so sad. The next day I booked my flight and took off back to FL. to say GOODBYE to a best friend. She lived a good life and I know she loved me so much. I loved her as well and I still do. The funny thing about it all is, when I went back to FL in December for Christmas out of everyone, Grandma had purchased and had a gift for me already shipped to my parents house. I laughed when I opened it. It was a pink tool kit and YES each and every tool was pink lol. She was always so concerned about my safety and living alone and having to fix things. Thanks Grandma for everything :-)