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It's almost as if I like sad and upseting things to dwell upon others so I can feel the pain. Maybe I like the feeling of pain. It feels nice. Maybe i'm a loser who can't except her self for who she is let alone like her self. I hate myself I mean I really hate myself its a strong word I know but it's how I feel about myself. I can't find things that I like about myself that mean something to me. It's not fair what I put other people through in order for me to feel good. Feeling good when some one is sad or upset is all so wrong but it feels ohh so good. People ask you do you like to hurt? You say no. I say yes, I like it. It calls to me, wants me to feel good pain makes me feel good. Is one cut better then 10? No, I like more more more the more the nicer it feels the more I feel "i'm in heaven feeling". I like that. Cutting and pain is my HIGH!
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Posted by Kill_Miranda on 2007-11-20 00:49:20 | Rating: | Views: 277
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Oh my god, that is so sad.... what makes you hurt yourself, what thoughts are you having when you feel the need to do this. You really need to sit down and maybe get a notepad and write down all the things you hate and all the things you like, and all the things you are neutral about yourself, right down to the colour of your eyes. You must do something, there is more to life than this, and its too short to waste, I know because I always thought my mum and dad would be there, and when the inevitable happened, I was lost, my security blanket is gone, and it makes you realise then how short life is and to fill your life with what you want to do, and what you want to have. Have you got anyone?? Read my blog, and maybe it will put a smile on your face, it seems that you need one.
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Posted by SallyDJ
on 2007-11-20 03:33:21
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What made you first "cut"? I'm asking because everything starts from somewhere. And I also know how you feel. I mean, I don't cut myself but I know of the feel you feel. I feel that way a lot.
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Posted by Chanel
on 2007-11-21 14:56:38
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hugs you, it is strange how we take our depression out on ourselves, have done that for years like Chanel said, people dont understand true depression.
hon, all you can do in hang in there also, talk to the group i belong to, the befrienders.org.
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Posted by kentlass
on 2007-11-21 16:14:36
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i didnt expect to come across someone who would say those things so openly...i cut too. its so wierd that i just randomly found your entry, ha, and i know what you mean when you say that sad things make you feel better bc you are dwelling on pain. i think the reason i like it is bc it is someone elses pain not pain that someone is inflicting on me. thats why i cut, bc it is something i have control over, but dont hate yourself there is nothing wrong with the way that you feel, just bc not everyone feels that way or not the majority of ppl does not mean that it is horribly wrong, you may not see yourself as normal. hell i know i dont see myself as normal, but i dont think that you should hate yourself...however i cant say not to cut bc i would sound extreamly hypocritical.
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Posted by trentbabe
on 2007-11-26 10:24:14
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