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I'm so pist at the world.I want to die. I fucking hate myself. I feel uncomfortable and foregin in my own body. I talk about dying alot I haven't done it yet and its not for attention its because I don't have a good enough plan how i want to do it. What I want to say to the ones I love. No perfect way to take my life. I want it to mean something to me. I don't want to just overdose on pills. I want it to be doing something I enjoy. I cut the night before last. Cut like never before. I was a monster. I slashed my arm. Laughed, cried and wanted to scream. My arm was so bloody the scars are so real. If someone would have seen them I would have been sent away for a long time if not forever. They burn two days later they still burn. There red and dry. Blood seals them. The monster in me did lines vertical and horizontal, carved lie and fuck. I don't know why it's almost as if I blacked out and let the monster take over. The pain seemed real but the blood wasn't. It was light red and not thick, infact very runny almost as water. These are pictures I took. Don't be afriad of them understand them. That's all I want.
 
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Posted by Kill_Miranda on 2008-01-07 01:51:00 | Rating: | Views: 99
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Interesting. I undersand these things you feel. I too have a monster, but the monster is my own homicidal self and I have more control over it...usually. If you would permit, I may be able to help you with your monster - help you harness its power and use it at a whim.
I am not kidding, I am quite horrendously insane and would like to assist in some way. Maybe not for evil, maybe not for good, but just to help. - that's what I do.
Remember: Two wolves fight in every persons heart: love and hate. the one that wins is the one you feed the most.
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Posted by JustSeth
on 2008-01-07 10:57:52
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I am not too sure what you both feel that you are missing out on in your life. dwelling on what is missing rather than what you already have. It really makes me sad to think that you are thinking like this. Our lives our special and are own and it is up to us to make them as we will....we really shouldnt worry about comparing ourselves with what others have got and thinking therefore that we must be worthless. It is so untrue. Attacking the body as is no compensation for the confusion that is inside our own consciousness....you are a very sensitive and intuitive person....problem is you just havent realised that yet.....
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Posted by mandala
on 2008-01-07 11:55:10
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I know how you feel....
I've beencutting for about a year now...
I know what it's like to have that "monster" inside of you...
it's always nagging in the back of you head. Telling you to cut...saying you're not worth it...
just keep holding on...it will get easier...
Ellie Cohutta
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Posted by pure_life411
on 2008-01-20 13:28:45
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