I spend a lot of time on my own . Have done since childhood . Don't get me wrong I enjoy the company of others . I also realize that as a human being I am a social animal .  But there are some truths that can never be known in the midst of a chattering crowd . I somehow have become involved with a very attractive and most excellent woman . I say somehow because I am not sure what I did or am doing that she likes so much . I am not complaining . This lady has a much bigger social circle than mine . I can count on one hand the people I give a real damn about . Also she comes from a bigger family than mine .  I have no siblings .  Thankfully I like and get along with her crew and I guess they feel similar about me . To only have alone time when  we go to bed is not my idea of  perfect . She fires my passions like no woman has in years . I would like more time to just be alone with her to talk and look in her eyes . Non horizontal expressions  of love .  If her friends totally sucked it would be easier , but they are good people and I know they are very important to my lady . I can imagine a younger and less experienced man thinking that ' getting some '  is all that counts . But to only have that is boring to me . I need to be mentally and physically attracted to a woman . Bimbos and ditzes need not apply !  It is hard to have a deep and meaningful conversation when it could be interrupted at any moment .  I do not want to go back to being alone most of the time , that is a recipe for either sagacity or insanity . And I am not ready for the first and have had enough of the second .  I am too scarred and cynical to think any person could be ' the one ' . Relationships need work to succeed . But she is better and finer than any of the women in my past . It  makes me laugh to think that my rough head  makes her smile .