| View Blog
|
|
|
|
| Hmm.. |
So, I find myself overwhelmed by my mom. I love her and I know she loves me but shes suffocating me. She doesnt let me do anything and Im 19!
Im seriously contemplating moving out. Everything is proactically set. My friend owns a Triplex (in a few months) but his dad likes me so he said I could move in as soon as its ready. The rents going to be cheap and Ill be splitting the other bills with some other friends. I think I can manage... Plus Ill literally be 4 blocks away from where I am now. Less then a 5 minute walk.
Im starting to Rebel a little more, taking control of my own disicions and I know my mom doesnt like it but its how I have to be. Ive let her keep me under her thumb for too long and although I know shes my mom I need my own space. Room to grow or I know Im just going to end up resenting her for never letting me go.
I dont want to lose her completly. Shes my mom, I love her with all of my heart, but something tells me that with this small break from her for me, is going to come one giant disconection from her to me. And Ill let her have her space and hate me for a little but eventually I think im going to neeed to talk to her. For closure. For her. For me.
Ive been going over the numbers too. With what I make and with what Ill have to pay, its realistic... Im pretty sure I can do this. I think I need this too. Theres still so much I want to do and I know its pathetic but at 19... I have to fight to be allowed to spend the night at a friends...
So heres my plan. This weekend a bunch of my friends want to take me up to the country for Friday night of partying and watching movies, and if I can stay awake, the sunrise, then Saturday a day of music, hiking and paintball... Ive decided Im going to tell my mom Im going weather or not she says I can. I think this is how that conversations going to go;
'Mom, you asked me what I wanted for my birthday and this is it.'
'No, your not going and thats that!'
'No mom. It isnt. Im going anyways. I really want to do this.'
'If you go you better have a place to stay when you come back because it wont be here'
I dont want it to go that way but I know its how it will go... If she wont let me breath without her concent how am I supposed to live? It wasnt until I started wanting to do things that I realised how little she let me do. So be it if this is how it has to be for her to realise that I am growing up I didnt want it to end this way, so soon, but it might be the only way
|
|
Posted by Kendra_Trixx on 2009-11-01 23:17:57 | Rating: | Views: 15
|
|
| |
|
|
Email This to a Friend 
