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Christmas used to be fun around here. Back when Jen lived with us all year. Back When Santa clause was real. Back when All I ever wanted was a magic wand from him. Now I see christmas for what it is. The broken dreams of children who realise that Santa doesn't exist. Pure greed and commercialism. The pain of poor parents who have to explain to their kids why gifts won't be happening this year. It used to be about giving, about community, and about purity. Now, christmas is just an excuse to spend tons of money on things that nobody really needs. The christmas I spent in africa was the best christmas of my life. There was no big fancy dinner, no huge tree, no santa clause and no snow, but yet my family became close because of that christmas. Last christmas I had a boyfriend. When he asked me out on christmas eve's eve, I was so excited and happy. I spent christmas in a daze..practically radiating happiness. This christmas I have no boyfriend. He is with someone new this christmas, and all I have are the fond memories that break me down in to tears when I think too much about them. This christmas I have nothing to look forward too. Gifts mean nothing to me, my family barely feels like a family at all, my friends sit on the other side of a huge void, and I am all alone with nothing but a christmas tree and some tinsel. I am learning to accept this, but at the same time I don't know why I should. I just wish christmas could be over. No wait. I can't wait for highschool to be done so I can escape from the memories I hold here and move on with my life. I just want out of this town. I want to spend my christmas's helping others and visiting new places.. not sitting around a living room watching people unwrap their greed with contented sighs. I want freedom. I want truth. I want christmas to be what it was before it became what it is now. a morgue of memories and a sick lie. |
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Posted by Kay444 on 2007-12-19 00:43:55 | Rating: | Views: 101
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