The BIG move....The first move....I'm 18 and I'm going to move out of my mom and step dads house....I'm scared. WAY SCARED.

The choise didn't come all on it's own. Well I'm sure as most of you will understand some kids, teenagers and so on don't get along with their step parent weather it be a step father(In my case) or a step mother.

Let me just start off with a little bit of information that will help everyone with understanding my Step Father and My situation. When I was 8 my best friend at the time told me that my step father wasn't my real Father. Of corse as any kid would I asked my mom if that was the truth and she told me it was. That my Step Dad and his parents had told her not to tell me the truth but she couldn't lie to me after I had asked her. Sense the day my mom told me that my Step Dad just wanted to lie to me it's been a fight ever sense. We hate one another. We are always arguing with one another or ending up in physical fights and have sense I was 10.

So the other day my Step Dad walked into the house and started being a prick(which is totally normal for him) he was running his mouth off at me and I didn't say anything for 10 minutes. And I just couldn't help it anymore. There is only so much BS someone can put up with before they blow. He's annoyed and annoyed me for years and I just can't take it anymore. So I flipped. I was screaming and cussing at him and we were fighting and my mom came home and over heard us and she had a fit. So she started screaming and yelling at both me and my step dad.

Yeah I understand that sense I still live under their roof that it's their rules. But you know what NO ONE should have to put up with the crap that I take from him weather it be his house my house or my grandmothers house. He smells the crap he doesn't brush his teeth and he gets in my face and blows his nasty ass breathe in my face. He only showers every couple weeks which is TOTALLY SICK!! He's rude, mean, stupid, and just plain annoying. He walks around in his underwear while I'm home and sitting in the living room. And it's just sick. I hate him. I really hate him. Yeah hates a strong word and all but honestly it's not really strong enough to describle how I feel about him. But I can't think of a better word either.

So back to the point, After my moms little fit and my storming off to my room, She came up to my room and we started talking. She had pretty much desided by the time she got to my room that it would be best if I just left. So we went and got a paper and looked at one bed room apartments. I found one it's going to cost me $500.00 to move into. Which isn't that bad I don't think. Because after that rent is going $275.00....Thats like hella cheap. And the place isn't some nasty scum whole either. Well from the looks of it....Who the hell know they might have painted and covered up black mold or something. =|....Hmmm I should probably not think like that.

But then I got to thinking....The place isn't furnished and it doesn't have anything in there. Other then the stove....So I went down to the local furniture store....To get my couch, love seat, chair, TV, Coffee Table, end tables, lamps, rugs, Fridge...And Ect. It's going to cost me $200.00 a month. I figure thats cheap enough....Right? Everything is new and in it's boxes and plastic from ashley.

And then I realized I have to everything else too....From Trash Bags to Dishes....And everything in between the two....So I went to Wal-Mart.com(A girl has to save money somewhere.) And with every thing I need for the house it's going to cost around $250.00 or maybe $300.00...Which is pretty good right?

After I do all that my pay check will be mine once again and then I can buy decor...A house isn't a home until it's decorated....If someone tells you it is....Don't listen it's all lies and they just don't want to decorate because they don't have a good decor sense....

But even though it sounds like it will be fun I'm still scared....With bills and all of that going to be my responcablity to remember to pay and take care of I'm worried. I would forget to pay my cell bill. So yeah I'm pretty sure the gas company will just shut that off....I don't know what to do. Or if I'm even ready to move out. I know I have to grow up and be off on my own soon but I'm still scared....IS that normal? IS it okay that I'm nervous?

If anyone has any advice they think would help me from their first move I would really to hear it. What did you guys do when you first moved out on your own? Well I'm going to go and try and sleep. Thanks in advance for your help. Goodnight,
XoXoXo