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I am so bored here. 2 hours to go. About an hour ago I realized I needed to kill sometime so I called my friend Dana at work. We were talking. She has the worst luck with guys. So I just made up this list and sent it to her. It was kind of funny so I will share it with you.
Dana's Dating Requirements:
1. Dana's Dream Guy must have a steady and decent job. Workers of 7-11 need not apply, as this is not seen as a job that is going anywhere.
2. DDG must have his own house and/or apartment. Men living with their mothers are out.
3. DDG may or may not have children. If he does, he must prove that he is no longer married and/or living with said children's mother. He must also prove that he has not been in a relationship with said children's mother for at least 3 years.
4. DDG must have a decent form a transportation. Jeeps with no soft tops are out, as we are living in Colorado and it snows in the winter. He must have a suitable car that she will not freeze in when riding to and from places in the winter.
5. DDG may have tattoos as long as they are appropriate and covered up when wearing shorts and t-shirts. Tattoos of other women's names and/or naked lady tattoos are unacceptable.
6. DDG should not be into strip clubs, drinking and partying like he is in high school more than once a year, or getting into bar fights. (A once a year partying like your in high school moment is allowed.)
7. DDG is allowed to play golf, and various other sports of Kari's choosing as long as it does not interfere with spending time with Dana. He may not play sports with any girls.
8. DDG will not smoke or chew. He will also not spit, burp or fart in front of Dana.
9. DDG will love horror movies, except any of the SAW series, as he will agree with her that they are lame, even if Kari thinks they are scary as hell.
10. DDG will not attend more than 1 high school reunion in a five year period. Unless it is as Dana's date to hers, and to his own.
11. DDG will swear on his life that he has not ever been to jail, a Michael Jackson concert, San Francisco (so we are sure he isn't gay) and South Dakota.
12. DDG will submit a blood, hair and urine sample to the proper authorities who will determine that he is in fact human, male and is not on drugs, steroids or has any std's.
13. DDG will love to give her money to go play bingo while he stays at her house to cook and do yard work for her.
14. DDG will not wear clothing more expensive than hers.
15. DDG will pass a test to prove that he can tell apart each scent in any Victoria's Secret line of lotions.
16. DDG will not have ears that are too big for his head. All body parts and facial features will be in proportion to his size... except one and that is to the size of Dana's choosing.
17. DDG will not sleep with her before properly courting her, which means at least 2 dinners out and 1 night out with his friends. He will also never ask her to bring a breakfast burrito from Albertaco's if she is on her way over.
18. DDG's name will most likely not start with the letter "J" and or be a nickname.
19. DDG will not have any children named after any sports star, vegetable, fruit, or type of transportation.
20. DDG will sit with Kari at Recital and every dance competition and laugh when she says "Wait, have we seen this before" even if she has said it 10 times and he is annoyed. He will also laugh at any reference Dana or Kari make to Will and Grace, and like it.
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Posted by KarKar on 2008-07-24 16:03:22 | Rating: | Views: 45
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OMG I love it!!! Especially 11 and 14. Hahahahahahahaha!
You should totally have this printed on a shirt for her!
Hope she finds her DG soon!
~L
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Posted by LARed
on 2008-07-24 16:10:32
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LOL... hmmm I could customise that for me! lol.... I'd have to include, HAS HAIR, is taller than 6 foot!
LOL.
Oh and number 18. His name cannot start with "M"
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-07-24 17:37:04
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Loved it, loved it, loved it.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-07-26 23:51:21
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I agree that relationships can be challenging. In fact, I’ve tried pretty much everything. Now my friend, psychologist Dr. Alexander, showed me what’s been missing. I was looking at the wrong type for me. If you go on Dr. Alexander’s new site, www.loveTypes.com, and take the quiz, you’ll find the type that’s best for you.
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Posted by lovetypeme
on 2008-08-09 12:47:14
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