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It's Friday, I usually love Fridays
but today I'm cold
my hands are cold, my feet are cold
I have on socks , and a sweaater
but I feel as if , I'll never be warm again.
I'm frightened, more frightened than I have ever been
I'm lonely too
I need, I want, I, I, I...
I'm being greedy again
what could I possibly need
Why do I always think, only of me
Don't I get it???
I have nothing to stress about
I have nothing to worry about
I have nothing
I am
nothing
My spine is burning
its just the joints
its a part of my cancer
Cancer?
What is that?
Why do so many people have "it"?
Why WHEN so many have "it"
do I feel so all alone?
There's nothing special about me
so why?
Some days I want to take a hand full
of pills and go to sleep
I want to wake up when I dont' have
to feel this way
I want to sleep until the pain is gone,
until the fear is gone, until the loneliness is gone.
I want to sleep until everything I hate about me
is gone.
Here I am again, being selfish
Here I am again, thinking of me
How can I be so thoughtless
when your stress is higher
when your worries are tougher
when your fears are stronger
when your loneliness is greater
You are everything
I am nothing
You have needs
I have selfishness
You have pain
I cause it
I know what you want
you've told me but
You know I don't listen
You want the time
the energy
the freedom
to be yourself
and I take that all away from you
If I could just lose my fear
for you, and only you...
I would disappear.
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Posted by KaiAyn on 2007-12-14 21:41:21 | Rating: | Views: 84
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Dear Kai - as you know I have been where he is - and now I have all the time I need to be myself - and I miss her so much I would swop all this freedom to have her back to care for again, for the rest of my life. He will realise this in time. Don't wish time away. Let him rwad what I say.
luvnstuff to you both
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Posted by 2rivers
on 2007-12-20 18:23:28
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He is right....
I think your husband needs to spend this time with you...
(((((((((((((((HUGZ)))))))))))))))
2rivers...
(((((((((((HUGZ)))))))))))
I am sorry you are in pain... pat pat... dont stay alone.... it will hurt less if you go into the world again and find more friends... pat pat...
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Posted by Traveler
on 2007-12-22 15:37:57
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