Do you ever get that sinking feeling when the phone rings and you hear who is on the other end that happened to me last week. I was sitting at my desk working away on my current assignment and it had been a pretty good morning no major dramas or hassles. When my enjoyable sounds of music playing, was rudely interrupted with the ringing blare of the telephone one Friday afternoon.
Picking it up I answer in my nice usual tone, and discover that it is the school, the vice principle at that. After the usual pleasantries were over and done with we got down to business. It seems that I was required to attend a meeting with the principle regarding my son.
Now let me just side track here. My son can be a handful at time, and I have been in constant contact with his teacher regarding him at all times and keeping tabs on him. So that I have peace of mind that he is on the right track. He has had a few run-ins with minor infractions.
So when this call came through I started to panic, as I am sure most parents would. So when my little man come home that night we sat down and I asked him what had been happening at school and had he been naughty at all. And with sweet innocents that young children can show. He looked at me and said well not always but I do try. So I asked him what sort of things had happened that was naughty, and of course he couldn’t remember any. He did however mention that their were two older grade 6 girls that were always playing with and his friend and that at times can be annoying, ohhh and the fact that his sister can also get in his face at time to time. So as far as I thought all was not too bad and I should be in for a big shock.
By the time the weekend had finished and Sunday was coming to an end for the 8 30 am meeting I had worked myself up to such a state that I had the poor guy suspended or expelled in my head. I also had plan a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h……………………….. all worked out as well for what ever was going to be thrown at me that morning. Needless to say that not much sleep was had Sunday night.
So up I get and get ready as well as the kids and off we go to school for the meeting. Now the meeting had been scheduled for 8.30am we got there at 8.25am. 8.55 am was in we were asked into the office to see the principle. Who was not alone there was also his class room teacher and a secretary to take minutes of the meeting as well as the vice principle. I was starting to feel like I was being lined up for the firing squad.
So I sit down and they hand me a student progress report, and I start to read it. He has been disruptive in class, he is not finishing his work, he is not showing correct empathy to other students, he is answering back to teacher, he has been sent to the principles office a number of times for behaviour issues. And the list goes on. And the older girls that were hanging around him well apparently it is the other way around, According to the principle my son and his other friend have been chasing them and harassing them.
So this is when I look up with a puzzled look on my face and look at the principle and then the teacher and wait for them both to finish saying what they have to say.
Finally I get my turn. Well I start off with thank you for informing me of what is going on however everyday (and I look at the teacher when I say this), I ask you if there are any issues that has happened on that day. And for the most part you tell me he has had a good day or a great day. Not once have you mentioned any of this. I have always told you that if there is any issue no matter how minor you may think it is I want to be told. I then proceeded to tell my version of the few things I did know to see if there was a possibility that some where between their version and my version is the truth.
We also put into place some strategies and I have given permission for them to bring outside help as well. I also mentioned that I felt that you may need to consider both children in having this help as they feed off one another, (meaning my son and his little friend).
Then it comes to the issue of my son and his sister and how their behaviour to each other at times is not pleasant. So I ask them which brother sister relationship is pleasant at all times. And once again I suggest that with this outside help they are getting in that they may consider my daughter as well so they both can learn how to respect each other. I am not saying that I don’t enforce this at home; I do on a regular basis. However it doesn’t always get heard by them and possible with the help of a third person who is neutral to all parties it may sink in.
Unfortunately my son was sick last week and hasn’t been at school so I can’t tell you if any of the strategies that we have put into place are working. This will be the first week of them. But boy; did I over exaggerate things in my mind. No he hasn’t been suspended and no he hasn’t been expelled. And no I am not one of these mothers that think my son can do no wrong. I know that he can bee over the top at times. But I do the best I can, and I am now asking for help when I can’t find a solution.
So hopefully we will get a handle on this before the year is out.
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