I was bored, tried and needed a laugh. So where do you go for that, the internet of course and you start surffing around. And this is what I found.
I am now laughing and ready for bed.
- How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
- How do "please keep off the grass" signs get there?
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of murdered?
- If people can put up nude statues everywhere, then why can't we run around naked?
- If Hooters started a door-to-door service would they then be called knockers?
- Who shuts the door when the bus driver gets off?
- They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?
- A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says...What is this, a joke?
- If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
- What does the K in K-mart actually stand for?
- Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" If afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
- Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?
- Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
- Why are boxing rings square?
- What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
- Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?
- Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for!
- If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
- What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
- When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
- Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner!
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Why do they report power outages on TV?
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
- Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes...why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
- If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
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