This all has a point so bare with me, while I get to it.
Remember when you were younger, or maybe you have done this recently. When you would break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you would go through all the different emotions of that lost. For me in my younger days it would be ripping up or destroying everything that had anything to do with that person. From photos, cards to letters, to gifts anything and everything. And god forbid if he had left anything at my place. Sometimes I would just bag it all up and trash it. Or sometimes depending on how hurt I felt I would turn it into a ritual and burn everything.
Now I am wiser (well I think I am), and older, I have regreted doing some of those things. I regret that I felt it was necessary to remove a part of my history out of my history book. This becomes more relevant the other day when my daughter and I were having one of those moments. I am not sure why this was brought up but she had noticed that WK hadn’t been calling as much or talking to me online as much. Not wanting her to know too much I just said to her that he was very busy at the moment with work and his family, and that sometimes friends get left out for a bit. But once things settle down they will contact us again later on. Which then lead to another question she asked “Did you have any other boyfriends before I had met daddy?”
I have always been as honest as needed with the children and I wasn’t about to change that so I said yes. That as mummy was growing up she had other boyfriends. Then she asked did I have any pictures of them. It was at this point some of my past actions played in my mind. It was then that I realised that I had ripped out pages in my history book. That I could longer share them with my daughter.
I mean when you think about it should we only keep the history that we like. What would our nations be like if when we were taught history at school we were only taught all the “nice as pie” stuff? Don’t we learn from adversity?
If we look back over the millions of years and took out all that adveristy, what would we know? We wouldn’t know about Jesus and Judas, the crucifixion, Noah’s ark, WW1, WW2, JFK, MLK, Eureka Stockade (for all the Aussies), Potato Famines, Hitler, World Trade Centre, Iraq and so on, the list goes on. So if we took that all out what would we have?
Okay so finally I get to my point.
Another member of thoughts has decided that it is time to go. And that is fine it is up to that individual, but why delete all the post that you have taken time to write and share with us. Why take the pages of history out, that maybe one day we would like to reminisce over in the future. I am wondering did that help you to purge your past and help with the process of saying goodbye. All I know is that now I have a blank page where you once were.
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