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I would really love to hear what people have to say on this subject so bear with me while I give you some background information. A friend of mine has an 18 year old son who is a nice guy. He has in the past being slightly reclusive, due to a lack of confidence, but things lately seem to have changed on that due to some voluntary work he has been doing. He hasn’t had many girlfriends and so is what you would say inexperienced in that field. However in the last month he has gotten himself a new girlfriend. Due to commitments that they both have don’t spend a lot of time together but when they can they will. There are a lot of phone calls and emails back to one another in low times. Now from what I hear this girl seems very nice, she has a job, and is studying and supports her family. She is 22 and apparently has been engaged in the past, and according to the guy she is still a virgin (which is not the issue per se).
But my friend’s husband feels that it is strange that this girl could still be a virgin and have been engaged in the past. He feels that anyone who has been engaged must have had sex during that time. His reasoning for this is because it is unnatural for this day and age. I have tried to point out to him that not every girl is just going to give it up for someone they are engaged to. That some people are saving them self for when they do get married. I also feel that it would be too hard to keep up a lie like that.
I have even pointed out that there are support groups out there for people who want to save their virginity for when they do get married. There are even books written by people about this topic. But as far as my friend’s husband is concerned, he sees that as highly unlikely or that I possible could be right.
I would love to hear what other think on this subject.
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Posted by KP on 2008-07-25 10:01:54 | Rating: | Views: 188
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i agree with you,i am that type of girl,ya,chinese girl and large most of girls of my age in china will save their virginity until they get married.it is not to say which is right or which is wrong,it is kinda faith.and i also agree your friend's husband might be wrong...there are still these kind girls,old fashioned?maybe,but it really exists in nowaday world.
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Posted by nina880224
on 2008-07-25 10:11:46
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I was 25 when I got married, I was a virgin and I had been engaged before. Now with that being said...I am sure that is why my first relationship didn't work out. I wanted to wait until I got married...which I did..to the man that thought I was worth the wait.
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Posted by lowiemae
on 2008-07-25 10:14:30
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On the other hand. I knew this girl who wanted to wait till she got married and ended up getting married way to young. Later she told me she was unsure of the guy's commitment but wanted to have sex and a normal married life and everything would fall into place. Three years later they are divorced. Hormones in teenagers is off the scale and it could/will affect judgement. That is why most teenage boys do the most moronic things when girls are around... I've heard.
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Posted by theotherjim
on 2008-07-25 10:29:49
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I think it is possable... I have a cousin who is 24 and has never had sex with anyone and he is a normal guy not the nerdy type you would think... So I know it can be done... when people look down at other like this and try to find flaws or get technicle it because they have a guilt of some sort.
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-07-25 11:22:43
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Well, I didn't wait but I can tell you for a fact that all of my cousins on my dad's side did wait. One was 25 when he got married and both him and his bride were virgins until their wedding night. It just depends on the person, I suppose. Not everyone waits, but there still are the few that do.
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Posted by KarKar
on 2008-07-25 11:32:38
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could it be her need to wait that has resulted in her still being single?? They definitly still exist and kudo's to her for waiting!!!
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Posted by otherwoman
on 2008-07-25 13:52:43
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I agree with otherwoman. It really could be her need to wait that is why she's single. I would have trouble being with someone who wanted to wait. (Wow, that seems kind of assholish, doesn't it?) But I do respect her, uh, self control to continue to stay a virgin.
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Posted by noahseth
on 2008-07-25 21:07:54
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I think because there's so much promiscuity around it's a bit of a shock to discover some people actually do want to wait under they marry. We attended a wedding in May this year of a couple, both late twenties, who were both virgins. They married within 5 months of meeting each other, which was understandable. They are both Christians, but I don't think that has to be the case with all people who make the decisions. Each to their own, but I do believe it can happen.
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-07-26 06:52:10
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ok, so I know I didn't wait, I had one kid and was pregnant with the second before I got married. That doesn't mean however that this girl is lieing about it either. It kinda sucks of this kids dad to assume that she is. It has become increasingly popular to wait, as the kids seem to see it as a strength in themselves and thier future spouse. I have to agree with the strength part...and somehow that makes me feel a little weak... *sigh* best of luck trying to convince kids dad to get his head outta his ass...
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Posted by nikilynn1113
on 2008-07-26 09:40:57
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First of all, when you're dealing with people, anything's possible (as witnessed from the comments above). Secondly, whose business is it anyway, and what does it matter? I can see that the dad would want to be protective of his son if he feels the new girlfriend is lying to him, but this is a private matter! Dad should butt out! If junior gets hosed by this woman, he'll live and he'll learn!
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-07-26 10:38:11
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Staying a virgin until the wedding night is gaining in popularity. Here in the states the very popular Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus wear rings from the "true love waits" jewelry collection. [There's even a web site devoted to the jewelry collection ... factory 79.]
What I find bothersome is the judgement coming from this father ... judgement put upon someone he barely knows. Making assumptions about someone is not a good trait. I agree with BootLady this man needs to keep his opinions to himself and stay out of his son's blossoming relationship. If the girl possesses the trait of chronic lying it will show itself over time.
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-07-26 12:20:05
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Why does this father have this information anyway? Did she fill out a form for him? That is a totally private matter between the boy and the girl.
My daughter is 20..and she is way smart..she is waiting.. :) My son..not so much..he is NOT waiting..Ha!
peace :) shemelts
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Posted by shemelts
on 2008-07-26 23:10:42
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I agree, I think it is definitely possible. And I agree, what business is it of the Fathers.
Good point too, that if she is lying then the son will soon find out won't he? :)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-07-27 01:14:48
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I think it's possible and I really respect people that have that kind of self-control.
Agreed with EasyToSay about the father;why does he know this info anyway?
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Posted by nakedtruth
on 2008-07-29 21:05:59
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Well I've heard Jessica Simpson was a virgin until married. I believe with most if follows a Christian belief.
I have seen another woman on the Christian network that has some sort of club or support group that encourages this. They have fathers give their daughters purity rings and the familys really try to encourage the girls about the reasons and values of staying virgins until married. They interviewed a few of the girls and they gave their reasons for wanting this as well.
I'd say yes it's not the norm but you always have people that don't follow the norm. I'm sure there are plenty of virgins.
I'd also take a guess and say the girl may have been engaged because the man may have thought that would be enough to get her to have sex. Maybe when he saw it didn't work out for him he cut the engagement? Who knows but I'd say it is very possible.
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-07-30 11:41:19
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Well, I can honestly say it's definitely not the norm. Out of all my friends, I only have one who thinks she'll wait until she's married. Then again, most of my friends are guys.. But regardless!
I agree with what anotherdaze said regarding the guy she was engaged to - the guy may have thought it would have been enough. Or, maybe, the girl could have used it to fast-track it a bit? We could speculate forever.
I admire those who save themselves for "the one", I know I wouldn't be able to do it.
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Posted by Mezlie
on 2008-08-02 07:44:33
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this girl is not a virgin.
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Posted by anonimo1922
on 2008-08-08 15:35:53
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Anonimo1922, would love to know why you think this.
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Posted by KP
on 2008-08-09 02:11:54
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22 and engaged...hmmm there's the answer. In todays world, unless you are really into some type of religion, its not possible. REALITY is, she just wants to sound good. A girl tried to play the VIRGIN act on me years ago, until she finally confessed. I dont believe it. Read my take on virginity. hehehe.
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Posted by anonimo1922
on 2008-08-11 01:09:04
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Oh, and you mention his background... he's inexperienced and not confident. Girls can read that like as quick as a Romantic Novel. Only virgin I see is Virgin Mary and shes in heaven.
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Posted by anonimo1922
on 2008-08-11 01:14:04
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