As I mentioned before the dynamics of the friendship changed. A lot to do with that was we were getting older. We were all heading off in different directions and what once was important to us now change. Some became more interested in school work. Some wanted to run a muck, and then there was that big discovery of the opposite sex.

At the that time I didn’t realize it , but later on it occurred to me that I was looking for love. Someone to love me and show me that they loved me.

One thing that stayed the same and even got stronger was my friendship with SH, (and yes SH is a boy). We would spend alot of time together and at most times alone. It started off innocently, a touch here and there, a look, a long admiring stare. Somehow we would know when each other was going to be alone and if possible we would get together. For a long time nothing happen. This went on for years.

Then when I turned 15 it changed again. The touches and stares had more feeling to them and went that little bit further than innocents. He said the right things to me made me feel special and wanted to be with me. Then it happened, we went further than before, further than ever. And I lost my virginity to him. I snuck him into the house one day when everyone was out and we were sitting in my room listening to music and cuddling and well you can guess the rest. I felt so special, and I truly believed that I loved him and I thought he loved me. I was hooked. I would do anything to see him or be near him.

As I had been so sheltered all my life I didn’t really know much about the birds and the bees and what I did know was what I had read at the back of the school library. What a place for a girl to learn what should have been spoken about by her mother and father.

A few things happened along the way. We were forced to sneak meetings with each other. Neighbourhood fight. Different schools and it was becoming harder and harder to see each other.

Then my world crumbled in a matter of minutes. I was forced to grow up over night. I was rushed to hospital with suspected appendicitis, but 4 hours later I gave birth to a healthy little girl. This was 9 months after I lost my virginity, my first time, my world breaking initiation into the world of adults

More to come

KP

Things happen for a reason some clearer than others.