Thoughts.com Blogs - Blah blah blah Ramble Ramble

I came on to thoughts tonight thinking I feel like the need to post something. But yet I think I have finally come to that point where I don’t have anything to say. I have read on here over the last few weeks that there is a lot of us feeling this way.

So I went to my folder to decide which one I was ready to post, and for some reason I came up with an excuse not to post any. Some of these I have re read over and over and think to my self am I ready for any of the comments that maybe come. (Not that all of them are controversial), in fact none of them are it is just my feelings. And even though some of them were written weeks and weeks ago those feelings are just as strong today as they were when I first wrote them.

I thought that maybe I would post another blog about my past, but looking back I think that my life could be the next best script for a soap opera. I mean I think I could even get a script passed off as a story line for “Days of our Life” or something like that. And as much as I thought I would use thoughts as a way to purge my past, I just wonder don’t people get sick of hearing about everyone’s pain.

So then I thought I would post a nice blog on something now but I have nothing nice to say. I could say that life is rosy and all, but that wouldn’t be the truth.

So what do I post about? NOTHING. I just ramble on and on and for what to get something off my chest. Well I sit here and read these words that I have just typed and I think what a big waste.

There are so many things I want to say, I want to talk about the fact that I had a boyfriend leave me for a guy. (Yes you read that right; I got dumped for another guy). I could talk about the fact that I am missing someone, (but I might get crucified for that). I could talk about some of the antics that Tina and I got up to when we were younger, (but it is still to painful). I could talk about the fact that I have a 20 year old daughter and I am afraid to go on the registry for her to find me. I could talk about how I am feeling lost in the world at the moment because my life isn’t filled with as many doctors’ appointments that took over my life for 7 months. I could talk about the fact that I want to go back to work, but no one wants to hire a bald, slightly over weight mother of two. Or I could just dig my self a hole and lay in it for a while and come out and play when I am ready (but that is such a defeatist attitude).

So I guess I have rambled on enough for now, I don’t feel any better for rambling, but I guess in the morning light I will.