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| My Suppressed Life |
My entire life is an elaborate fabrication.
Every word I utter, every action and reaction, give the impression that I'm happy, content, gleeful.
This is not the case, however.
No matter how many times I tell myself that I couldn't be happier, I know I'm not.
I can tell by the feeling I get whenever anything even remotely saddening intersects my path. Maybe I'm just overly emotional, but I'm sure it's much more than that.
I find myself holding back tears several times a day, forcing them back in while I clench my teeth behind quivering lips. I am utterly perplexed by this. I have nothing to complain about, nothing to cry about, yet I can't help wanting to simply let go; wanting to fall to my knees, wail in agony, and weep until I have completely dehydrated my body, not caring what others think of my behavior. Despite this, I don't do it - it'll show everyone how weak I am. Instead, I suppress all of my undesired emotions, tightly packing them into a fancy glass bottle, waiting until the cork pops off, then, in the darkest hour of the night, cry silently into my trembling hands, not allowing myself to be heard.
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Posted by JustLorena on 2009-11-02 02:48:53 | Rating: | Views: 71
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