Since I can't afford my own psychiatrist, I figured I'd join this site and just vent on here for anything that's going on in my life.  Whether good, bad, sad, amazing, exciting, depressing, frustrating, exhilarating, boring, stupid and lame.  I'm going to write about it.  If you don't like it, tough!

So today I realized I'm fed up with my boyfriend of a week and a half - "Poo".  See, I knew this was a bad idea from the beginning, since we started off as "fbs", you know, "friends with benefits".  I've known him for a year now, and it's been a rocky relationship from the get-go.  A week and a half ago, he asked me to be his "one and only poo" and I said yes.  Right away, I had my doubts.

He's never been in a relationship, or at least a serious one, EVER.  His friends always come first, he doesn't care about anything, has no ambition, and only shows any kind of "feelings" when he wants "some".  Obviously I should've known this since it's been going on for a year now... but there's just something about him I can't shake! 

I dated "Budsky", 6'4" hockey hottie with a heart of a nerd.  He was the sweetest thing ever.  We met at work.  He's waaay out of my league though.  But GOOSSHH he was hot!  He still is.  We still work together, which kinda sucks since I see customers flirting with him and co-workers trying to land him.  We stopped dating cuz he's a little "confused".  Both of us started seeing each other after both of us just ended serious relationships with someone.  I guess it was just not the right time, not the right reasons.  I forgot "Poo" for quite a bit cuz of him, but now that we're just friends... yes just friends, not friends with benefits... I'm back in "Poo's" little finger.  *sigh*

I also dated "Jimmy", ex-elementary classmate, ex-big-time-crush.  I used to LOVE him off when we were younger.  He contacted me after many years on fb, yup, facebook!  We got caught up, chatted, hung out, then I realized, he wasn't as lovable as back in the day.  Such a disappointment.  He harrassed me for awhile, he was entertaining and a good distraction.  Then he got "weird" and I'm glad I got rid of him.

Then there was "Tattoo".  At first he seemed like the perfect guy, until he started smothering me that all I wanted to do was get away.  He was waaay too "Emo" for me.  Like, I'm the girl, and he's acting like the girl!  I couldn't stand it.  That lasted a couple of weeks!  It was so hard to dump him too... waay to emotional!

So now I am back in the palm of  "Poo's" hand.  The thing is, the sex is soooo goood!  And it's still soooo goood.  I know that's not a good enough reason to stay with such a jerk!  But, a girl got needs!  And even though it's been a year, we were actually really just friends, not fbs, for only half of it.  I do still value him as a friend, after all this. 

Plus I'm back in school full-time, and working 2 part-time jobs.  I'm also thinking of getting a 3rd part-time to make ends meet.  I'm so frustrated with being broke all the time!  I can't wait 'til I'm done school and get a full-time career and finally move forward in my professional life.

OH and I forgot to tell you.  the "X" is back in the picture after 6 months of being MIA  Like, what does he want from me?  He broke my heart, he's with someone new, and now he's back?!  We never did have a closure, which is a little annoying.  I mean after 5 years of being together... you would think we would at least stay friends.

UGH why is life so frustrating!