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| My Dreams Were My Reality |
I saw Chrissy as usual last Friday. It went well. I lost 1.5kgs and a couple of centimetres.
But the main thing we talked about was my recent dreams. Ever since I started my medication, my dreams have become much more vivid. It doesn't bother me, but I can now remember them quite well.
This past week though, my dreams have been rather different. Usually they are made up of different sub-concious thoughts or happeneings of that day or the previous week, but now they are of my previous lifestyle. From when I was terribly unhappy and "crashing" all the time. And in a way, they are so accurate. The smallest thing would send me into hysterics. I would lose control of my emotions and I would be overcome with sadness and rage.
In a way, my dreams are a reminder to me of how far I've come. Within a few short months I've come from being a step away from considering suicide, to being normal. Happy.
I love my medication. Not in an addictive way. But if you've been where I was, you should understand.
I do worry though. My medication isn't for life. Eventually I have to stop using them. But I'm so afraid to returning to how I was. I'm afraid I won't manage without it.
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Posted by JustBlogIt on 2009-07-05 08:16:17 | Rating: | Views: 17
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