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| Finally Being Me |
I freeze in social occasions, and I'm not talking about being cold. My whole personality seems to freeze up, and I can't let loose. Has that ever happened to you? You're all keen for an event or a night out with people, but when you're in the moment, you can't be yourself? You continually hold back without being able to let your thoughts or actions out?
I can't seem to ever "defrost". It drives me crazy and it tends to portray me as a bit of a bore. I can count my lucky stars though that it doesn't portray me as a snob.
I used to scoff to myself, at the girls who go on about alcohol being able to let them "loose". These were the girls who didn't need alcohol for that, they were already that way. I would envy them for that. Seen as though I've never been a real drinker, I've never fully comprehended what it meant to let loose.
Poppy's grandparents were away this weekend, so it was a party at hers. We were both pretty poor, and couldn't even manage to fork out 15 bucks for alcohol. So we found the cheapest. Ten bucks later, we each walked to the car with two bottles of Passion Pop in hand.
Okay, so "party" probably wasn't the best word, we all (about ten of us in total) alternated between Poker and movies. Everyone had one or two drinks, but Poppy and I defiantly downed the most.
I can recall everything and if it came down to deciding what was right or wrong at the time, I wouldn't of had a problem. I manged to bump into three walls while walking through the rooms, Poppy and I ended up the floor on several occasions because we were laughing at who knows what and I even managed to do a form of the Irish Jig after stepping on a giant bug. It wouldn't of helped that I hadn't eaten since breakfast. But our friend kindly drove us to the 24 Hour Maccas so we could have something on our stomachs.
I was so relaxed! And I realised that alcohol "allowed" me to do that. If you don't tend to "freeze up" in social situations, you possibly can't understand how relieved I felt to finally be able to be myself around people.
I'm no alcoholic, and I never will be, but it felt good to finally be me.
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Posted by JustBlogIt on 2009-11-08 04:22:19 | Rating: | Views: 24
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