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I've always viewed myself as someone on the sideline. Not someone who seems to "hold" a group together or someone who is the centre of attention for simply being themselves. I just see myself like an extra on a television show, or the character that no body really thinks about until they pop up on screen. Well clearly, I'm going to have to do some re-thinking.
Scott, the "leader" of the young adults group I irregularly attend, had me in his thoughts yesterday afternoon. He found my phone number and gave me a call to encourage me to come to group that night and for the next few weeks. We were starting a new study and he thought that it might be the study for me.
I attended and found it interesting. When he was talking about this new study and what was to come from it in the next few weeks, I know he was aiming it at me. After, we formed smaller groups and split.
On the sheets provided, the were a couple of statements/questions that intrigued me.
"The purpose of man is to serve and glorify God." All that ran through my head was how on earth is being a Beauty Therapist going to serve and glorify God. I got rather bummed at that point. I mean, I finally discover what I want to do in life and it's not the right path?! Luckily for me, when everyone came back together, one girl pointed out that it's important not to get our purpose and goals mixed up. Our purpose (for everyone and everyone to come) is to serve and glorify God, but our goals are the other things we wish to achieve along the way. Which means Beauty Therapy gets the OK.
Question 6 talks about there being three persons in the Godhead. The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. They all form God, and they are each God. It's a little mind-boggling when you go into it deeply, but that's the jist of it. It says that they are to be glorified equally. The question then asks, "Do you glorify them equally?" Not for one second did that play on my mind. I wanted to know how do you glorify them unequally? I saved this question for Scott.
After the whole study had finished, most of us tend to hang around for a while and mingle. Scott sort me out and pulled me aside. He wanted to know if I found the study useful. Instead of just saying yes and smiling, I just asked him the questions I had from the study and some that have been plaguing my mind for a while. After a rather in-depth conversation about my question from Question 6, it basically came down to recognising that there are 3 "parts" to God.
The next question is one I don't believe will ever get answered, because we can't answer it. We simply don't know. If God knows who's going to heaven, why are we put on earth to begin with? Heaven is perfect. There won't be memories of our time on earth, and thoughts of doubt. So what is the point of being on earth and going through so much heart ache if God knows where each of us will end up? Some people had touched on this earlier, talking about free will. That's not what I care about. I can't see the point of being on earth if God already knows where we will be when we die. Scott just shrugged. But what more could I expect? I've concluded that it's not possible for us to answer.
I wrote a blog a little while ago, and someone commented saying that maybe I was a Christian and hadn't "realised" it. That go me thinking! I hold the same values and beliefs as Christians. I know there's only one God and we go to heaven or hell. Although I have a few hang-ups about some Christianity views, I believe everything there is to do with Christianity. This was all to much for mind to handle, so I asked Scott. Is it possible to be a Christian and not realise it? He said yes. Well then that's me. I am a Christian, but no matter how many times I say that to myself, I can't feel it. I don't know if I'm meant to feel different. I'm never going to get that major testimony like some people. So I said, am I meant to feel different as a Christian? He wasn't sure, some people do, some don't, but he said that Week 4 and 5 of this new study will be the weeks for me.
So there you have it. I'm a Christian without realising it. And I can completely agree and understand that. I'm just unsure about how I'm meant to feel, so I guess I'll be hanging out for Week 4 and 5.
As much as I hate to ever admit "defeat", I'm going to have to on this. I know I've been every ones secret little project, to get me to be a Christian. (That makes Christianity sound like a cult. Don't get the wrong idea, just try and understand what I mean), but what's the point in fighting it if I know what they're fighting for is who I am.
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Posted by JustBlogIt on 2009-11-03 18:55:35 | Rating: | Views: 22
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