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and im still crying over losing him...
everything is a reminder and is constantly opening up my emotional wounds...
..the most pain comes from knowing that he was my greatest love..and now its all gone...
i know it can be hard to understand why my heart goes to him...
believe me...even i dont know why....... i just know it belongs to him...
and noone.. not even myself can convince me of otherwise...
writing blogs and making videos helps but........but i still cry to sleep everynight for losing him....
and for all the betrayal that was done to me...
i just want to be okay... i don't want to want what i want anymore!!.. does that make sense? =[...
i just want to be okay... i want to move on... but i cant.. im stuck... something holds me here...
and what hurts the most is that i know that for the rest of my whole life i will always hurt inside from this.. i will always love him and miss him..he will always hold my heart...until the day i die.. or maybe even after.............. but he already moved on... he probably doesn't even think of me at all anymore... hasn't even tried to talk to me in almost 3 weeks now... =[....hes almost past his record...what if he never talks to me again? =[. what will i do.....
how is it fair that one person can mean the universe to another... but the other doesn't return the feelings at all.... they give back the opposite feelings? it shouldn't be possible ='[.
i haven't spoken in nearly 4 weeks....... thats my record.... i am trying not to talk because .... i want him to care i guess... it hurts because he used to text and message and everything else to see if i wish okay...and i ignored them... now id give anything for those simple messages........ even though at the time i was in far to great of pain to even look at them.... all i wanted was to be cared for...
all i wanted was your love love love love love love...hate is a strong word, but i really really really don't like you.....
why does everything remind me of him....why =[
muffins...dont you miss me? ='[ why havent you tried to talk to me? please try? please? you only came on msn that one time... you havent even come back to see my offline... =[. will you ever? did songs stop reminding you of me? did random words and pictures and everything? when you get a text.. and see it isnt me... does your heart still sink?
i miss you.... i miss you so much.........i dont want to but i do.......i fucking miss you TT.TT
i just want you to be happy...i said before id cry for your happiness........and judging by all my tears... muffins your set for life =[....
i just wish your happiness came from being with me... like it used to .. =[
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Posted by Jewelz17 on 2008-07-13 20:44:44 | Rating: | Views: 179
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cheeeezzzzzzzzzzzz i hope everything is okay now
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Posted by odysseus_t84
on 2008-07-14 15:21:21
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I came by your post randomly but wanted you to know that if there was some sort of a gold star for obsessing and depressing over a break up it would go to me. Everything you've said I can relate to. My relationship ended 17 months ago. It truly took me until a few months ago to feel "okay" about it. You will be okay. Life works in the way that when something is gone long enough it slowly is drained from our memory. Trust me. It will not be like this forever. All we can do is hope that things actually do happen for a reason...life will prove us right or wrong eventually. But I have a feeling its right :)
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Posted by iamnothealthy
on 2008-07-17 00:02:13
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Reading the first half of your post I felt like as if I was talking to myself. I don't know why I have to hunt out these kind of posts everytime, only to remind me of what I've been through...and also am going through, though at a lower grade of intensity right now. What used to be incessant pour of tears putting me to sleep every night has now reduced to a drop or two but it's still there.
And you are right when you say that - it also hurts me the most to think that I will always hurt inside from this and I don't think I can ever stop loving or missing him.
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Posted by Aphrodite
on 2008-07-17 13:34:17
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Jewelz17
Ontario, Canada
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