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I Hope It Was Worth It...Emotionally Assulted.

Well…I’m just going to go right out and say it…. Muffins had sex.

It isn’t so much as the act itself that KILLS me… that made me fall asleep last night shivering and huddled close to a toilet bowl as I cried my eyes out and dry heaved from the anxiety attack of hearing it. Its that it proves a lot of things…..

J***** G******11/06/07 9:36pm
I couldn't find the right words...but i promise i will remain a virgin until i meet you and it's for you and you only.

Lies. You PROMSED me you would wait with me…am I not worth the wait? Maybe I’m not… maybe I never was and I never will be to anyone..

Not only did you promise me that but you also told me all through December that you still loved me, that you didn’t love her, and in January (2nd) you said that you loved me and ‘for the last time there is NO one else’ … but you told me you did it near the end of the year…=[

How can you love two people at once? You can’t. its that simple, you lied right to my face, Muffins…RIGHT TO MY FACE. How could you? What did I ever do to you? You left me on the 6th of December, if there was someone else so in your life that you loved why did you keep lying? You had already left.. I don’t understand.

And I BEGGED you in January to tell me what was happening.. I sent 3 emails BEGGING you….i just wanted to know what was going on.. and you completely ignored my cries…

Were you with her for months while lying to me? Or did you really have sex after being with someone for like a week? I thought you were different… I thought you would at least be with someone a long time before that.. and you told me it was ‘faqing’ and a ‘shit happens’ moment……..what happened to you? =[ That isn’t the muffins I fell in love with….

You were supposed to be different… if no wait for me at least wait for someone, at least wait for that right moment when its all perfect… you even did it before your friend, who always talks about sex and all that stuff…who thought of women as just ppl with holes to do shit with… like………….. you made sex worth less than that? Really? ….

And why do you want to be back in my life now? Did she leave you? Did you leave her? … she probably left you… I only say that because if you left her it wouldn’t be for me, and yet that is what you say you want now. Sigh, or maybe you are only in a fight and want this constant feeling of love around you, that you know I have for you still…. That isn’t fair…. That isn’t fucking fair to me =’[ what about me? …

I am not mad…I am ashamed. I am disappointed. I thought you were better than that. One day, when you find the girl you want to propose to, your going to have to tell her about what you did…is that really how you wanted it? When you slept with her you threw away every nice thing you ever said and did for me, because I just doesn’t seem likely to love two people entirely…

I hope her sex was worth throwing my unconditional love away for.

…yes…unconditional…..i still love you….but I don’t think I can walk knowingly into a minefield… I cant take the emotional assault anymore… besides, your starting to stab the inner core of my heart, and soon it will let the logic kick in and ill go numb with feelings…and then nothing can save the biscuits you know now…

Posted by Jewelz17 on 2008-03-29 19:59:00 | Rating:

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		Hello, London, Ontario, Canada here as well. I don't profess to be a know -it-all but if I may. I have lived longer then you so guess I've seen more too. Its best you find out things now then later. Yes its paiful but you really can never lose something you never really had. When it happens for you, you soon forget " whats his name."
Posted by templar_knight on 2008-03-29 20:29:42


		I see how men can be so mean at times.. dear friend.. you have the right to stand your ground... be who yu are and hope things will be right for you! take care! J~
Posted by Jaysquash on 2008-03-29 20:50:47