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Every year I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, be it a smile to a passing stranger, an encouraging word to someone in need, or just
the simple art of listening to a disconcerted heart.
"Things of this world fadeth away." This was the theme of my thoughts as I ran the wash this morning, recalling my entire life to present - from self to being baptized by water and spirit and born again unto Christ. Growing up I was a wretched soul, who faced each day with the open wounds left from sexual abuse. Each day was an emotional struggle as I tried to stave off the feelings of impending doom. My days, back then, were often darkened with depression, especially as a teenager.
As a young adult, I had managed to step out of the emotional rollercoaster, but the shadow of depression followed me well into my late thirties. It was after this third assault when I finally surrendered my attempts to control and put Christ in charge. The thrid assault threw me into the darkest pit ever. The Body Dysmorphic Disorder soared out of control, my newly found faith in Christ was crumbling, and my days were haunted by thoughts of suicide. I took leave from work and sought refuge at the home of my Aunt/Uncle in Houston, Texas. It was there in Houston where I was baptized - born anew in Christ.
During this morning's run my thoughts stayed with baptism for a spell. I compared being born of flesh to being born anew in Christ. When a mother gives birth to her child, the water breaks before the baby makes that daring journey through the birthing canal and takes its first breath of air. The water breaks and a child is born. So it is with the baptism of water, for when we submerge and then surface, the water breaks before we take our first breath in the Spirit of Christ. This very analogy released a flood of praises and thanksgivings as I continued along my run.
It was a blessed run today, but of course, all my runs seem to turnout that way as long as I keep my sights on the Kingdom of God, and not on earthly things. All those good times and good experiences, prior to finding Christ, gave me a short-lived feeling of joy. The shadow of depression always returned, throwing me right back into that pit of despair. Even the memories of those joyous moments couldn't resurrect any lasting joy, but when I died to self, letting the the Holy Spirit take root (born anew), the gates of heaven opened, pouring down an endless supply of spiritual joy. As long as I remain standing in the presence of Christ, seeking Him without ceasing, His peace and joy holds steadfast. No matter the circumstance, "joy cometh in the morning" when I wipe the sleep from my eyes and find His name upon my lips.
With Christ firmly in my heart, I have undergone a major transformation for the better. I have been, indeed, made anew. I've heard the expression, "Faith is not a feeling." Rightly so, but an unrelenting faith and trust in the Lord has changed the way I feel. Those feelings of sadness and doom have vanished; only peace, contentment, and an overwhelming spiritual joy remaineth.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning; new every morning.
Great is Thy faithfulness O Lord.
Great is Thy faithfulness.
When I completed my run this morning, I returned home and picked up the book Leaves of Gold. Within the first few pages I came across an inspirational composition entitled "Walking With God." It's an admirable discription of what its really like to walk with God in Christ. It follows:
Walking With God
There is only one basis for really enjoying life, and that is, to walk in the way in which God leads you. Then you are prepared to find magnified delight in all sorts of wayside incidents.
For one thing, the ability of the senses to enjoy anything depends as much on the tone of the mind as on any external happening. Some people are like Peter Bell of whom Wordsworth wrote:
"A primrose by a river's brim
A yellow primrose was to him,
And it was nothing more."
When a person is drifting through life, seeking nothing outside of self-gratification, the world must become increasingly a barren and forbidding wilderness.
But it is wonderful how many delights fall to the lot of one who is led by God. For such a person, the clasp of a friends' hand, a cool drink in the heat of noon, a merry salutation from a passing traveler, a glimpse of beauty by the road, a quiet resting-place at night are all full of unspeakable pleasure. (Author Unknown)
If I can put one touch of rosy sunset into the life
of any man or woman, I shall feel that I have
worked with God.
(George Macdonald)
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Posted by Jesusmyvision on 2008-07-09 03:22:33 | Rating: | Views: 64
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Wow Kim, great post! I have a favor to ask you? Can you have your church pray for Larry? (details in my blog) We need all the strength and prayers we can get! Thanks for the awesome work God is going to do!
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Posted by debwrkn4jesus
on 2008-07-19 16:37:25
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So true! Thank you, Kim, for sharing! God bless you!
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Posted by Alice
on 2008-07-19 16:43:47
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God bless you
AMEN
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Posted by good_news
on 2008-07-20 00:14:52
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