Note: This is my personal daily devotion's journal which I use as I walk in my faith. I use this journal as a reaffirmation of my faith walk.
I have been in difficult situations throughout my life and, have experienced the feeling of "impending doom." I have been a victim of three separate crimes. I have experienced heartache and betrayal. I have lost loved ones. I have lived with chronic illness. I have been through four major surgeries. I have been through abusive relationships. I have been through a divorce that left me in financial ruin. I survived, I have grown strong, I have achieved victory over adversity.
There was a time when I was broke and in need of a job - any job. I took the first one that came along and that is where I am now. I work for State and I work within the prison system. It is an utterly abusive and backwards environment of dysfunctional and lost souls. When I felt that the doors were closing in on me, I prayed for a new job. The opportunity arose several years ago. I wanted this new job so bad that it hurt, but I didn't get the job. Here I am still working as a correctional officer in a state prison. I almost crumbled when I didn't get that new job. A friend of mine told me to "get out of the driver's seat and let God do the driving." I got to thinking about that and realized that I was indeed side stepping God's will. It was all about me and what I felt I needed.
I realized I needed to hang on to God and trust Him like I never had done before. I had to surrender "my will." I had to trust that God was leading me and HE would lead me to where "He wanted" me to be - not where I wanted to be.
Total surrender is so difficult at times. We worry about the future, forgetting that the future belongs to God. We have God's gift of "now." Now is where He wants us to be. It is where we grow in Him and where we find salvation. Thanks to the wisdom of my friend, I try not to put my sights on the future anymore. Anticipating the future takes me away from God's peace and puts me in a state of doubt and anxiety. I make every effort to cling to Him right now, trusting that He will provide all that I need.
Today, I continue to work in the negative environment of a prison - an environment that is dehumanizing and abusive. Here I am in total surrender and clinging to God for my provisions and my direction. I am here in the "now," trusting God, surrendering my concerns to Him, and feeling His peace in my heart. I remain at peace each day I go to work within the craziness of the penal system. Each day I stay in Him is a day of victory. I have learned that victory is mine, as long as I remain in Him "right now."
Abide in Me, and I in you.
As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself
unless it abides in the vine,
so neither can you
unless you abide in Me. (John 15:4)
God does provide all that we need and He will not allow us to endure more than we can handle. We just have to wait on Him, and trust that He knows what's best for us to grow strong in Him. When we wait and trust, the difficulties of the day pass. We may not always get what we think is best for us in the moment, but we get from Him what we need to grow strong in Him. If we are strong in Him, we have the strength to overcome the adversities of living in this world. If we have the strength to overcome adversity, we are able to live life to its fullest, love to utmost degree. This is indeed his will. For if we achieve inner peace in all things, we have conquered evil. If everyone had inner-peace, perhaps hate and terror would not reign in in the heart's of men.
If I ever think I don't have it in me to go on, He is there renewing my spirit and taking my hand as long as I remain in Him. He keeps me moving forward, conquering adversity, and achieving victory. In this life we have to make sacrifices just like Jesus, but we achieve something far greater in the end.
Matthew 19:24-26 ... [26] Jesus looked at them and said,
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Remember Jesus on the cross. What a sacrifice! Anything we do in our life that constitutes a sacrifice will never compare to Jesus nailed on the cross. If you are in the depths of despair, hang on to love, strength, and victory by clinging to Him in complete and utter trust. Surrender "me" and replace me with "He" who has conquered and saved the world. Life is full of tests and as long as we stay in Him, we will have victory. We do indeed have victory in Christ.
Amen! I have a life that mirrors yours in many respects and a Jesus that is just as sweet! I definatly couldn't do it without Him!
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