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"I will praise Him. I will sing to Him a new song. Jehova Jireh my provider. His grace is sufficient for me." At this very moment this Christian Hymnal is playing in the background, affirming my faith in the greatest gift I have ever known - Jesus. I cannot help but feel His surmounting joy deep within the core of me when the Christian hymns resound through out this quiet and still house. I come alive and my house does too. Once again I am lifted up by Grace.
Hitting the bottom of the pit does not feel like a low and dark place for me. In Christ, I am still challenged by adversity (my BDD, health, mother, work), but even at bottom, I can't sense it or even see it. It's as though I am thrown down the dark pit only to bounce back up to light when I hit the bottom.
I have been obsessing for the past three days, spiraling down so to speak. The scissors find their way back into my hands and I somehow find some part of my hair that needs to be fixed. A little snip here and a little snip there. The scissors, then, leave my hand as I move on to something else. Hours later, I'm standing before that same mirror scrutinizing my hair. The scissors are calling me and I answer. Snip here and snip there. This is the bottom of the BDD pit.
This morning I stood before the mirror and looked at what little hair I have. The face is washed. The makeup comes on. Then the wig. I depart the bathroom without hearing the voice of the scissors. The BDD episode is over. I've bounced at the bottom and I am now out of this deep, dark, insidious pit. There is no shame, guilt, heartache in the aftermath of my fall. I have today. I have breath. I have a heartbeat. Best yet, the Lord is here with me and the "son" is shining.
Let the choir sing praise. I have left yesterday's darkness and stand in today's Light. I have won this battle. I may not have much silver hair left, but I have His transforming joy. "The joy in the Lord is my strength. I will not be shaken."
I'm singing praises today:
"Jehova Jireh, my provider. His grace is sufficient for me."
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Posted by Jesusmyvision on 2007-12-01 12:49:21 | Rating: | Views: 200
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In all things give thanks. You are an inspiration.
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Posted by PamGlam
on 2007-12-02 06:41:59
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So good to hear you bouncing back into the light after yesterdays storm. Well done. :)
Namaste
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Posted by scotslad60
on 2007-12-02 06:46:01
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agreed, was abit worried, you appeared really low - hugs
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Posted by kentlass
on 2007-12-02 15:10:13
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"I will never leave, nor forsake thee." God is a true friend, indeed! :)
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Posted by Alice
on 2007-12-03 18:27:14
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