After my last sexual assault, I struggled with my faith. When we feel that we are losing something that we so desperately need, we fight anyway possible to keep it. I fought to keep my faith by looking for God anywhere I could find Him, even in books. His Thoughts Towards Me is one of several inspirational books I latched on to when I was shopping at a thrift shop. Within its pages are chapters of inspiration and encouragement expressed as if God was talking to one of His children.
Leafing through its pages, I came across several chapters I highlighted in bright pink years back. I remember the words well, because I used to read these pages over and over as a meditation during some of my most trying moments of despair. I'd like to share them in hopes it will bring light to someone who is experiencing the ravages of despair.
Ending Your War With Yourself
And, beloved, if our conscience (our hearts) do not accuse us--if they do not make us feel guilty and condemn us--we have confidence (complete assurance and boldness) before God.
(1 John 3:21, Amp. Bible)
How often I've called you in love and in tenderness. How often I've sung over you in the night and rejoiced over you in the day. And yet, how often I've heard you curse yourself. How often I've heard your private battle cry against yourself!
Why? Have I waged war against My beloved? Have I instructed you to hurl rebukes and angry insults at My chosen? Am I to wear the uniform of the enemy and take sides against My own?
Never! Never!
I love you! I love you!
I am He who calls you to the glorious kingdom of peace and righteousness.
I am the One who gives you new life, who yanks sin and hatred from you.
Would you accuse Me of sending you that which I have freed you from?
I lifted you up into My own heart.
I see you as a rare and precious gem,
fitting perfectly in the Father's resplendent heavenly crown.
I am making a gem out of you.
I am creating a new heart in you.
And now you war against that very heart. You devalue the jewel of God.
Peace I give you my dear one.
Peace to be yourself, and to enjoy being yourself.
To speak kindly of yourself is to humble yourself.
To hold yourself in esteem is to humble yourself.
To be gentle with yourself is to hold Me in esteem.
Because you love Me and I love you,
end the war with yourself.
End it.
(See Romans 8:1, 31-39)
Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of God
He who gains Wisdom loves his own life; he who keeps understanding shall prosper and find good.
(Prov. 19:8, Amp. Bible)
Speak of yourself as though it was I, the Father, describing you. The new life I have given you does not make room for self-hate, self-derision or self-inflicted insults.
You are MY own handiwork,
MY workmanship,
recreated in Christ Jesus,
born anew that you may do those good works
for which I predestined you,
taking paths which I prepared ahead of time
that you should walk in them--living the good life
which I prearranged and made for you to live.
Do not be rash to utter harsh words against yourself.
Be careful with your mouth and your thoughts
and stop your heart before it is hasty to utter
negative, demeaning words about yourself before Me,
your loving God.
I love you!
I call you with and everlasting love constantly.
If you were to think of yourself as I think of you, O how different you would be.
I want you to love youself as I so love you!
(See Ecclesiastes 5:2; Ephesians 2:10; Jeremiah 31:3)