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My Body Dysmorphic Disorder episode has retreated into the deep recesses of my mind. It returns to the Limbic system of the brain and waits for the next opportune time to surface. It usually surfaces when my defenses are down - usually when I am exhausted and tackling some emotional and physical stresses in my life.
Years back these episodes would come and persist for days or weeks. I would hide myself from the world in shame and embarrassment. I recall feelings of helplessness and doom. Sometimes I even had the notion to discontinue the fight and end it all. Today I have Christ in my heart and sail through these episodes quickly. They don't happen often, but when they do, they don't last long. They are short episodes and when the wave of the BDD crashes in, it lingers for awhile and then recedes. These episodes last a day now and come less frequent. I hope in Christ.
Having found Christ, I have found an inner strength that had remained aloof during my childhood and most of my young adult life. This wonderful inner-strength is born out of hope! Hope comes by faith and my willingness to build it up unceasingly. In order to be spiritual we have to pursue spirituality constantly. My pursuit of Jesus has been constant and faith building has been a never-ending process. In hope I have assurance that everything will work out. All trials and tribulations will pass and life goes on. In hope there is no more fretting over what has happened. I now can look in front of me and anticipate what sweetness the Lord will have upon my path. I surrender it all to Him. Hope! Blessed hope - my companion for life as I remain in Christ.
I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me. (Philippians 4:13)
But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. (Romans 8:25)
And now, Lord, what do I wait for and expect? My hope and expectation are in You... (Psalm 39-7)
I hope through my Faith in Christ who has been faithful since I found Him.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)
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