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Jester21199's Blogs in October 2007

Numb
Dear M, I am entirely not happy with myself leaving you and my posts so that I can keep up with myself and ensure that I keep to my promises to myself. Other than that, I am back. I will hold myself to posting while out here because that gives me a three week chance to......Read More

Posted on: 2007-10-01 23:59:16 | Rating:

| Views: 76 | Comments: 0 | Tags: numb communication resentment

Numb Continued
Dear M, Tonight is a continuation of two nights ago when I was dealing with my communication problems to the world and with Ragen. I focused mostly on Ragen, and that is where I want to pick up at. My belief is that I have grown in a firery recentment towards Ragen for what......Read More

Posted on: 2007-10-04 00:38:37 | Rating:

| Views: 78 | Comments: 0 | Tags: communication relay my fears

Fight
Dear M, I use you tonight to collect my thoughts about what is going on in my life and in my relationship. I have self destructed to the point where if I don't understand what is really going on in my relationship then she is going to leave me. She wants nothing to do with......Read More

Posted on: 2007-10-10 23:42:57 | Rating:

| Views: 78 | Comments: 0 | Tags: fight self centered anger over

Three Points
Dear M, I came to a conclusion last night in my thought experiments up alone in my room in my little notebook. It all looks like chicken scratch but from it all I have figured something out. I control Ragen. I have already known that, that is not new to me or......Read More

Posted on: 2007-10-11 11:58:51 | Rating:

| Views: 92 | Comments: 2 | Tags: control self esteem loss of control

Reevaluation of the Her list
-Trust: I need her to trust in me completely. I need for her to not think of me as the enemy out against her like her father, and all her terrible friends throughout life. I need her to open up to me about her early life that she has hid away from herself. Her feelings,......Read More

Posted on: 2007-10-15 13:14:04 | Rating:

| Views: 86 | Comments: 1 | Tags: selfishness control reevaluation list compromise trust sex

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