I love rats.
They're the bestest pets ever.
If you don't believe me, go buy one.

I miss my girls so much. It hruts me soo much when I think about them. I get so..
so..EMO!

I hate it, but I can't help it. What was I thinking?
I can never take back that day.
I still remember it and it makes me cry:

The day I brought them to the vet because I thought i was going to be homeless and broke.
The day i had them killed
I remenber she told me to come back in an hour and they'd be in a box for me to bury
i remember i didn't even have 60 dolars to have them cremated.
The 10 minues later barging back in crying to the vet to give them back to me.
keep the money
keep the cage.
just give them back. I changed my mind, I'll find the money to afford their vet bills.
I'll find the money to feeed them.
But it was too late.
they told me an hour but 10 minutes later they were gone.
I screamed at the woman.
YOU SAID I HAD AN HOUR TO DECIDE!
GIVE THEM BACK TO ME YOU STUPID CUNT!
BITCH! I WANT MY BABIES BACK!
She handed me a box. It was warm.
I screamed more.
MY BEST FRIENDS....
My babies.
I ran outside and fell on the ground because my knees were weak.
I tore open the box and picked up my babies.
I wrapped them around my arms and held them.
Rocking back and forth
outside
on the ground
balling
They were still warm
My babies were just living..minutes ago..

but all because of a compulsive thought
one fight with my parents
one fight with my boyfriend
3 days without proper meds
I went nuts. I cracked
I killed them,

I'm a murderer

R.I.P Atticus, Omahli, Lexie, Vega