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Just finished watching the movie, 'The Notebook' with Robby. It was his first time, my 2nd... I still ended up crying at the end. Good tears, of course. Robby & I have noticed some parrallels between the characters & ourselves. It's great to have someone to share meaningful conversations with.
Enjoyed a nice, quiet New Years at home with my honey. I was 2 tired to go out on the town, especially after our impromptu trip to DC on Sunday & Monday. It was great to see the botanical gardens. The air & space was ok for about 10 minutes but I tried to make the best of it.
Traveling proves difficult when one has special dietary needs & pets that need to be cared 4 at home. I'm still getting used to Amber being out on her own, so it's different when arrangements need to be made for homesitting & petsitting.
Now I am going to hand out passes for 'Jen-sitting' since it seems to take a full time staff to keep me on task, growing wheat grass, sprouts, & doling out supplements & vitamins.
Cindi will be arriving Jan. 14th & will be nestling in at DRC. Padma will be returning to Baton Rouge for the winter months. It doesn't seem like winter when Cindi isn't around.. but I miss Padma when she's gone, too. I find that when I am unattached to people... they seem to flow in & out of my life easier.
Some of my loved ones are very concerned about my decision to approach a natural cure for my cancer diagnosis. And while they strive to accept my choices & be supportive... their fear does nothing to help me, it only makes me feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes, a brief moment of doubt enters my mind & I begin to wonder whether or not I am making the best decision. Someone begins to cry or tell me that I am likely to die & I wonder why cancer entered my life. I know I ave a lot of work ahead of me, major lifestyle changes are already beginning to take place.
Each morning, I try to remember to thank God for the new day & for my health. Instead of resenting the challenged of my life, I am beginning more to respect the life lessons garnered from them; & the recent blessings in my life, especially the support system I have with Robby & my friends & family.
I wonder if I will be around a year from now... like if I could fast forward time & see what my choices now will become. Will I be lying on my deathbed thinking, 'what the hell, why didnt' I have that surgery after all'... will it be better to be alive & risk more scar tissue & damage to my organs from the toxic anesthesia that I am allergic to?
Will it be worth it if I have to cathetarize myself so my bladder will work again & watch my skin peel from my face like I've had a sunburn, eventually, I could become like swiss cheese, all full of holes where organs once thrived, would I be thanking God to be alive or beggin him to release my Soul?
Well, anyway, I'm going to watch the rest of seven years in tibet with my honey, robby who i am kissing buttrying to type at the same time...
so later for now....
& HAPPY 2008!!
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Posted by JennyWren on 2008-01-02 21:46:00 | Rating: | Views: 65
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