I watched a movie yesterday called "Fireproof." You have probably heard of it, if not seen it. It tried to sell itself as a Christian film, and for the most part it was. But, you could have taken out anything Godly and the message would have still come through. It was not so much about marriage as a Christian institution as marriage being a sacred institution. It was a great film and I was surprised at what a good actor Kirk Cameron is, I have only ever seen him in Growing Pains. Anyway, this blog is not about the movie but, about marriage in general.
I have blogged before about my near affair with a former co-worker. I had a narrow escape, chosing in the end not to dishonor my husband or my marriage. But, that isn't really true. I did kiss this guy, I flirted, I let him behave a certain way with me that should have been reserved for only my husband. In essence, I was unfaithful. For a moment, I forgot who I was and what I stood for. It happens. And big shocker, I am HUMAN...I make mistakes. I haven't told Michael about what went on and I probably won't. I no longer have any contact with this man and to tell Michael now would only hurt him. Honesty is important but, it has it's time and place.
This man, he took his time to get to know me, to find the weak spots in my personality and my marriage. Then when the time was right, when he knew enough, he started using it to his advantage. He tried to act like my friend but, my "friends" would want to see my marriage succeed, wouldn't they? It makes me wonder about the character of this man. When I said "I'm married." and his response was "That just makes it a challenge." I think most men (and women) are good people and when someone says "married" they think "Ok, off the market." I think most people still respect the value of marriage. There are some, however, that do not.
Case in point, I was watching the news this morning and saw Jon Gosselin on there, you know, from Jon and Kate Plus 8. I never watchd the show but, this man, from what I can gather, left his wife with 8 kids to pursue a relationship with another woman. To me, this is disgusting. What's worse, he gets all sorts of TV airtime for it. Meanwhile, his WIFE is probably subjected to all sorts of tabloid rumors, nosey reporters. I would be so humiliated if I was in the public eye and Michael did that to me. Our society loves dirt. We love to see ceebrities' marriages go down in flames. It sells, that's for sure. But, something has gotten lost. In all the media hype, all the fame, are the children who now are going through the hardship of divorce.
Marriage is a sacred intstitution, not to be entered into lightly. Yet, that is exactly what this society does. And when things get a little tough, when it's not so easy anymore, people run for the divorce lawyer. Why? What has happened in our society that has diminished the value of marriage? I think we have truly become a throw-away society. We can replace anything, can't we? We don't stop to consider the fall-out from it, the children caught up in it, the emotional damage done to everyone involved.
As many of you know, I have had my ups and downs in my marriage. I have considered leaving, seriously considered it. In the end, I didn't. I guess it is because even when my husband is being the biggest asshole on the planet, I know deep down, he's a good man. And he's a good husband. And I know I am not always easy to live with. I got married to stay married. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard as hell. But, I think it's always worth it.
Thanks for reading,
Jennifer
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