|
If this post is flagged 'Explicit content', no actual swear words exist in this post!
Sorry to disappoint!
Well having spoke of an potential apocolypse in my previous post, it came to pass that I had one. My electricity supply went ape! A power outage in my area, this I discovered after calling the emergency services.....it came back on, then went off again, right now it's on, I hope it lasts.
Ridiculous you might think, or coincidence? Or, I tempted providence? You decide.
Through out history though there may be people who would disagree with this, take 'A Moron' for example, he was a commissioner of education based in the Virgin Islands and was heard to say " I don't believe it!).....Oh well that's up to him I guess, then of course you could ask 'Aristotle Tottle' a pirate from Falmouth, England, but he would've been too busy smuggling stuff to concern himself with such trivial matters, then there was 'Bathsheba Finkelstein' a student...high school of music & art (class of 1957) New York City, her recording was interupted by a power outage "Oh blast" she said.
A man at a the John Hancock life insurance company called 'B. Brooklyn Bridge' was inundated with calls when a power outage occured in his local area, he did no more but to call a couple of friends of his (Messrs. 'Bull and Schytt') who dealt with planetary ecology and boasted the gargantuan title Glaciologists, General Assembly, International Union of Geodesy and Geophysics, Geneva, Switzerland, all they could advise at the time was to ride the storm until it passed, meanwhile in Manila, Philippines, Archbishop 'Cardinal Sin' was seen praying for an end to the loss of power in his local village, but instead of asking god he should of gone to see the Reverend 'Christian Church' (Florence, Italy) and sought his opinion for the reasons why, but an acquaintance of his 'Cigar Stubbs' (Bureau of vital statistics, Florida) was too preoccupied with the three dimensions, height, width and depth, so he didn't come forth with anything worthy of note...he was way too engrossed with himself and the great scheme of things.
With still no end of the power outage in sight, 'Mr & Mrs Cock' (maiden name, Prick) got married in London ...1963 and suffered ridicule ever after! They even bought their very first toilet from 'Crapper Toilets Ltd' and decided to flush the memory, however, this proved somewhat difficult to do, so after a visit to America in order to see a medical practitioner they were advised could help them 'Doctor Doctor', they came back to England with a new hope that everything would sort itself out for the better, but in Russia, a certain 'D. Schumuk' refuted the idea that the couple could ever lead a normal life with names like that, this statement was backed up by the French Commissaire de Police, 'Charles Adolphe Faux-Pas Bidet', Paris, France, who claimed the whole thing was an impossibility, while in Palo, Alto, California, a banker working for the Northern California Savings & Loan Association, 'Firmin A. Gryp' stated that he would put money on the fact that the couple were doomed.
Still in California, Mrs. 'Friendly Ley' said that she could positively help this couple to maintain a life resembling some normality if they would take her advice and go see Mr 'George Baretits' (U.S Army) and learn self discipline, but the Turkish Military Attache 'Mustafa Kunt' (based in Moscow, U.S.S.R) claimed that he had the answer they sought and would plug up their emotional leaks! A Norfolk plumbing company 'Plummer & Leek', were appalled by such unattainable promises and challenged anyone to do more than they could for the unhappy couple.
On the day of the apocolyptic power outage, Mrs. 'Screech' a singing teacher living in Victoria, British Columbia, was conducting a class of students who were practicing their part in a local theatre presentation, so they never noticed anything different about their day and continued in complete ignorance while the streets were lined with panic, but this wasn't the case for 'Virginia May Sweatt Strong' (Memphis Tennessee)...her air conditioning packed up and so she and every one else around her suffered the consequences.
A Motorcycle dealer living in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, 'Mr Vroom' became suddenly rich when his entire stock was bought by an American Gynecologist, Dr. 'Zoltan Ovary' owing to the fact that car petrol pumps were out of use and it was considered a wise move to invest in as many motorbikes as possible! Mr 'Ovary's' entire staff were now mobile again so his delivery schedule was uninterupted, but the same could not be said for 'Silence Bellows' (Editor, Christian Science Monitor)...when thousands of people turned up on his doorstep asking him to explain the phenomena at hand and whether or not the end was indeed nigh?
But then the lights came back on and power was restored at last! Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as the world got back to normal, but in Epsom, England, Mr 'JD' was still panicking after his fridge defrosted and water was now spreading through his kitchen, he phoned a friend and asked if any contractors were known in the area who could fix his sodden floor? his friend said "sure there are", Mr 'JD' then enquired "what's his name?" A voice came back...."O. Hell".
All Names are of actual people, living or dead. |
| Views: 128
