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 imperfect
I am not a perfect person. I wish more than anything there was a way that I could go back in time and change all those dumb mistakes I could have easily avoided. Majority of the people I meet already think they know me without actually getting the chance to know me. Since I do not talk, many people think I am stuck-up, some think since I act so nice in school that im rebellious and crazy at home, some would even say that I look like one of those girls who could not get in trouble and does not have any type of problem. My family thinks I should get a boyfriend, get out more, and talk more. Even though I told my parents I was a Lesbian (we do not bring it up anymore), they still want me to have a boyfriend. It is, as if I never told them that I was a Lesbian at all, they choose to ignore it. This is the biggest thing people think about me * drum roll*….they think im Weird. I know I should ignore every dumb comment thrown at me, but sometimes I cannot. My anxiety has been really getting to me because I have been having some panic attacks lately. This time the way they look at me is true, I am extremely weird. The second big misconception * another big drum roll* ….about me is that since im African American I like rap or sexually explicit songs. I hate both. I like to listen to old school, r@b, rock, metal, pop, and alternative.
    Posted by Jasmine16 on 2008-01-08 14:55:06 | Rating: | Views: 118
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I do not find you weird.
I see someone who is having a hard time expressing themselves, because people try to change who you are.
I would be very quiet too, if everytime I tried to be myself, someone was telling me I was wrong.
As you get older, it will be easier, to express yourself, and stand up to, or ignore those who who would like to put you back into a box they have made for you.
I dare you to be a "Jack in the Box".
Every time someone pushes you down into a box to change you, pop back up and smile.
That is my lil' story of ignoring those who judge you and who will not accept you as you are.
Pop back up at them Jack!...and smile.
hehe.
Peace.
Posted by  DifficultSoul  on 2008-01-13 23:09:46 
  
Thank you, maybe one day I will be able to do that. Just be happy instead of sad.
Posted by  Jasmine16  on 2008-01-15 10:24:52 
  
I don't think that you are weird either...not only that but who wants to be perfect? For all my imperfections that drive me crazy or make me feel like less of a person, still ... I would never want to be someone who didn't have the depth to understand what it's like to feel low, to feel different, even to struggle within myself. I know, that doesn't sound very fun and healthy but in terms of learning about yourself, about others.... about coming out stronger and wiser. imperfection can be beautiful, you know? Of course, I'm not saying it's a good thing to be depressed and anxious and scared. Don't misunderstand. Not only that, I don't think that anyone is perfect, even if they try to act as if they are.
I know what it's like to be shy as well... I have a bit of social anxiety that has definitely kept me from being me a lot of times... with new people especially... and sometimes I wonder how many people actually know me. I know how frustrating that can be...

I love what Difficult Soul has written you... that is some fantastic and wise advice!
Posted by  spinningreflection  on 2008-01-23 16:17:57 
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Jasmine16
Texarkana, Arkansas, United States

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