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Being Me. ^_^

Hi my name is Jasnine . I really dont know what to put here so I will write a little about myself. I love to read, write, draw, listen to music and go online.
I read a lot of manga and watch a lot of anime. The music I listen to is Rock, Pop, Metal, etc.. I really dont talk a lot which people are quick to oint out. The internet is the best thing that was created, I am in a lot of online communities which is sad, I mean I can be on the internet for hours at a time but I cant talk to someone face to face. I write a lot of poems which may make people uneasy because my poems arent exactly happy. Sometimes I wonder why im not outgoing but than I realize im just weird that way.The reason I joined this blog community is to conect with people more like me, and to practice writing more. I am currently trying to learn how to draw manga but so far im not that good at it. Im useless really I cant sing, cant draw, cant talk to people, a total waste of time and space. I could say I hate a lot of things about myself:
1. To shy
2. Low self-esteem and self-confidence
3. Worry about stuff to much
4.Anxiety and severe Depression
5.Just plain weird
6.I spend an unhelthy amount of time in the internet.
7. Very little pople skill
8. Feels way to much self-pity
9. A big failure
I would love to dress in Gothic style clothing but sadly my parents hate the idea. Well maybe one day I will get a job and buy my clothes from Hot Topic. What a lot of people dont know about me is that I tried to overdose three times and I used to self-mutilate. When people see me thaey always pass judgement on me. They label me instantly as smart, Bible reading, and Church going person. Im none of these. I dont read the Bible and I hate going to church, but when I tell them this they act as if its some big shock to them. I also wish my parents would let me study Wicca, I mean its not like its bad or anything. I love everything about Wicca, I can understand that way more than Christianity. My parents force me to go to church no matter how hard I try to tell them I hate going. I wish I could tell everyone who I really am but I know if I do It will make my parents angry. I have three sisters and one brother. I know I will be on this site a lot.