Chapter 1 : As far back as I can remember

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  Here I am, A 23 year old woman, who still seems to be
  trapped in a little girls mind. Most of the time I can't
  figure out where I want to go, who I want to be, or weather
  or not I really want to run away. But where? Where would I
  go..I laugh at myself for thinking that I actually have a
  place to go. Living in Virginia isn't exactly easy. But
  then again, living anywhere isn't going to be either. I
  think I am looking for something...something to take all
  the pain away that I had as a child. Who would of thought
  that it would of have this big of an effect on me today. I
  always thought, living in a "broken home" where something
  was always getting thrown, either at you or at the wall.
  Always living in fear. Is he going to be drinking again
  tonight? Is he going to start another argument with your
  mother, the one who you run to because she seems to be the
  only living hero that you know. Are my two younger sisters
  going to have to stand up for me again and step in front
  of him again, praying he doesn't raise another open palm
  or fist towards you? I can honestly say that sometimes I
  wanted to give up, and I call it that because there really
  isn't a word for what I felt. That seems to be the closest
  one. It must of been because I was tired of getting
  grounded for two months at a time because for once in my
  life I would sass back because I was tired of his drinking
  and throwing things and the mental abuse I had to take in
  because at that point, that's how I thought my life was
  really supposed to be. I was used to it. I was tired of
  hearing him call my mother names. The thoughts I had in my
  head when he would call her a fucking bitch, or a fat
  cow.  She paid his way. She paid the bills in that house,
  took care of her children. Did everything a mother could
  do, all at onetime also while hearing her children cry
  literally in fear because they were afraid of there own
  father. And the sad part is he isn't even my real
  biological father. He was my step-father. Why should I
  listen to him, he wasn't my father. My won father, my own
  blood walked out on me when I saw no more than an infant.
  And he only lived about thirty minutes away from me at the
  time. He didn't care about me, so why should I care about
  him. I'd rather have no dad than to have a father figured
  like the one I had. My real father was a coward. How can
  someone make a child and not care about her where abouts
  or what her hair looked like now. Can she ride a bike? I
  didn't give two shits. But in reality I did.

    If you wish to read more, Chapter 2 will be up shortly. **