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I hate the way I feel right now. I feel indifferent about a lot of things that i should care about. Everything is wrong yet nothing is wrong. It is hard to explain. I thought that if I cried perhaps, that would release my emotions, but I can't cry. I can't sleep right now either. My friends have tried to cheer me up all day, from telling me jokes to listening to me complain about nothing lol. And still, I am in this awful mood. It was supposed to be my relaxing day.
I went out and shopped for a bit. I found a new lamp for my fountain which made me happy for a bit. I hooked it all up and it looks super pretty. My house is clean and today was a ME day. Everything peaceful and quiet.
I needed this day to just keep to myself. My friends wanted to come with me shopping but I really wanted to just be alone.
I also got an oil lamp and some incense. My house smells wonderful. There was nothing good on tv so I didn't watch anything, only a few parts of platoon which didn't help my mood.
All my pets have behaved today and all around its been a nice day. It was also about 50 degrees out with beautiful sun light.
A nice quiet day that I normally love after a hectic week. Still my mood is down the drain. I am not sure why.
I watched some of the videos of my nephew, he is soooooo cute and usually I get a big smile across my face when I look at his pictures or his videos. babies are just too adorable for words.
I feel like I feel nothing. Like I am drained of all emotions and don't see the need to have hope for anything really.
It's just the way it is.
I am thankful for everything i have. It's not really like I want to or am complaining about all the wonderful things I have. I appreciate them. Maybe I am just tired from running around all week.
I had a bunch of kids over here last weekend, and then my son got sick in the middle of the week, and plus I have been baby sitting Brien's puppy while him and German are at work. She is too young to be crate trained and she is just this tiny little puppy so she cannot be left alone.
My dog Mia loves her to pieces. I think Mia thinks she is her mom. It's very cute, but exhausting to watch a puppy and get work done. Work, and all the other things that I have to get done.
Friday night and Saturday night I was sooo exhausted. I steamed cleaned my carpets and then deep cleaned the rest of my house. Then I took the guys to walmart bc they needed to stock up on things. Brien has a small car so nothing really fits. I have a jeep with plenty of room. I needed some various things from the store...but I was sooo tired I forgot what they were. The next day I realized it was electrical tape, light bulbs, and paper towels....lol.
Anyway, last night I was super tired again. I didn't get to really sleep all week either. With work I have been going to bed by 4 am only to get up by 8 am and take my son to school. Saturday night, I am waiting on Brien and German to come get the puppy, and my other friend shows up. I had not seen her for a long time so we hung out. She stayed until 2 am. By this time I felt like my eyes were rolling around in my head. I was soo sleepy and could barely keep my eyes open.
She left and I went to bed.
When i got up today I felt somewhat refreshed. My ex came and got my son and I had the day to myself.
I didn't need to clean or anything, just enjoy the day to myself.
I went to home depot to get the fountain light, and the man who helped me was funny and flirtatious. It irritated me.
I don;t know why but it did.
My mom called and she wanted to tell me she is sending me a new purse. A dolce & gabbana purse. And normally I would have been jumping for joy since that is one of my favorite brands...instead I felt like I was faking excitement.
Maybe I am just tired.
I don't know. I hate the way I feel right now. Nothing really helps.
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Posted by JJwTheCrew on 2008-01-28 04:23:24 | Rating: | Views: 127
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hi jj!
i'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down. i guess there are all kinds of things that can contribute to it like tiredness, maybe you are a bit sick but haven't realised it yet, or dose of the winter blahs...
i think it's important not to get frustrated with yourself...just relax and make sure you take all the ME time you can till you start to get back on your game!!!
good luck!
:o)
cheers!!
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Posted by badlydrawnstickman
on 2008-01-28 13:41:16
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aww thanks...that was very sweet
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Posted by JJwTheCrew
on 2008-01-28 21:49:53
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its probably only temporary, but if it continues, you should see a doc, good luck
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Posted by roe
on 2008-01-28 23:48:38
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