When I read that bumper sticker I laughed.  It cheered me up after I had an argument with one of the most ignorant ppl I know.  I used to think he was caring and sweet and very spiritual.  But now, after the argument my view has changed.  For being 46 years old, what an immature ignorant guy. Saying things like "duh" at the end of every sentence...my 12 year old son doesn't even do that anymore.  And to attack me like he did when all I have wanted was to help, thats just incredible.  

I used to volunteer at a non profit organization for native americans.  We would send trucks out to the reservations that were hurting badly.  Many of their Christmas list included children asking for coats and blankets.  Things that most of us take for granted.  I volunteered for a while, coordinating trucks being sent out to various reservations who requested for a truck load.  The board of members started to act entitled over my time, not appreciating what I did one bit.  I was not seeking for a pat on the back every day, but when my phone started ringing off the hook, demanding that I come in even on my son's birthday...that's where I drew the line.  And it was not a big emergency either.  I was being called because they could not figure out how to put in new ink into the fax machine, and they demanded that I would come in.  I explained i had a house full of kids and it was my son's birthday.  Besides, what kind of moron do you have to be to not be able to figure out ink for a fax machine?  

It scared me that these ppl were running this organization.  Besides, they also started to make racist comments about the very ppl we were trying to help.  Why would you volunteer at a native american charity if you are racist against them?  I ended up quitting for many reasons.  I felt like what we were doing were just giving them more hand outs.  Sure its nice and they need things like food, clothes, school supplies, however, I wanted to look at a bigger picture and try and figure out a way how one can help their economy or at least plant a seed.  Giving hand outs at times can be like a band aid over a gashing wound.  

Anyway, so back to the 46 year old "friend".  I tried to explain to him my point of view.  I came to the US about 12 years ago.  I am here with a permanent green card, I am a japanese citizen.  I have lived all over the place, not just Japan and here, but in Sweden and Hong Kong.  I have also travelled and visited many countries and I consider myself very very blessed for that.  I love studying about cultures, religion, and languages.  I was explaining to him that when a group of ppl stay down and do not try and help themselves it is only hurting that group of ppl, no one else.  And I do know that it is hard to break free from such a mentality when its been around for many decades.  I am a firm believer in "if there is a will there is a way".  

He became very angry with me because I didn't understand why certain reservations did not want to open up more businesses, and improve the employment.  I had spoken to several native Americans who wanted to open up their own business but were denied by the tribe.  I couldn't understand why that was so.  With unemployment rate being anywhere from 50-80%, I guess in my mind, you would think they would want to expand and create more jobs.  I was only looking for an answer not hostility.  

I do not like any group of ppl suffering.  I hate seeing it on the news and I am big on charity.  It can be from an animal being dumped on the street, to a child starving, or women being sold into prositution in many many countries.  All of it bothers me.  Since, I am here in the US I thought I would help out with the reservations that are hurting the most.  Crow Creek had an arson incident several months ago and it burned down their facility that kept all the food, school supplies, soap, pads, blankets, and basic survial supplies for the homeless, elderly and battered women.  The tribe did not have enough money to rebuild the buildings back, and even when they wanted a truck, they did not have the space to unload it.  They could not even get a truck.  This tugged at me big time and I was soo wanting to help.  I have heard too many sad stories and awful things.  I know I am one person but I can do my part, and that is how I feel. 

The man I argued with, kept blaming the "white man".  I am not here to say that their history isn't sad and extremely unfair.  I am not here to say that all white ppl are evil.  A lot of things have happened and are still going on that are completely horrible and unfair.  But to me, there comes a point where one has to stop blaming the past and do what is best.  I am not saying it will happen over night or that it's easy by any means.  Comparing different countries and different situations is irrelevant.  You can always find a better or worse group or individual.  How about we just focus on what we have here and what we can do.  And yes...I know it is easier said than done.  

I am not even gonna bother to post what this man said word for word, what he claimed were facts vs fiction.   One example I will say is that he based his "facts" on fictional movies. I am not talking about a well made movie based on history.  I am talking about complete hollywood type action movies based on screen plays.  Not even inspired by a true story.  It was just about pointless. 

He also kept saying that I was being controlled by a white man.  That came up out of no where.  His reason for saying that is because I did not want to pick up my things and move to the reservation where he is living.  I have responcibilities.  And I am going to be completely honest.  Maybe some ppl want to pick up and leave and life in the wilderness of Africa or something, but I do not have the desire to do that.  Why should I interupt my son's life and my other responcibilites because one man wants to prove a point to me?  Maybe there are some ppl out there that would chose to leave a certain life style to adopt another. I have worked hard for where I am at, worked hard to provide for my son.  Battled with illness and being a single mom for years, and now finally I am where I want to be.  Being blessed with a comfortable life style, I dedicate my time to help those who are less fortunate.  I am not going to give that up, I don't care what anyone says.  I am not sorry for my wealth and my comfort.  I do not see a justification to why I should be punished for the success I worked so hard for.  I could almost understand the hostility, if I was a princess with everything handed to me and never faced a day of hardship.  If I was a selfish person who do not give a damn about anyone else.  If I ran out and bought $3000 bedsheets and basically gave a cold shoulder to a bunch of starving kids. 

He also tried to say that because I am half white I do not know what it is like to be discrimnated against. Since he was being so juvenile I wanted to retaliate with "assume makes an ass out of you and me"  But I didn't.  I am not sorry that I am half Swedish, and I am not sorry that I am half Japanese. I am not gonna sit here and list all the times I was faced with comments and plain discrimination for my race or my gender.  Or even my status...believe me, there are some ppl who still frown on single mom's and also on divorce.  No, I am not Native American, and maybe I am ignorant to the depths of discrimination they face everyday.  But going into a comparison battle is not helping anyone.  The economy is still bad on those reservations, the children still need coats, blankets, and school supplies.  

 Anyway, now that I vented about that I feel better...lol.  It was on my shoulders for the past couple of days and I had to vent about it at some point.  Aside, from the grumpy juvenile guy, I have to say that when I did visited the different reservations.  What wonderful sweet ppl they were.  Watching a pow wow for the first time, my heart was filled with joy.  So many were so down to earth and talked to me like they had known me for years.  I loved the warmth of the ppl.  It motivated me even more to do something kind for them in return.  One rotten apple doesn't spoil the rest of the tree.  I am not one to base some stereotype just because 1 person was ridiculous.  

I was quite puzzled after the argument since I have known him for a while now.  The conversation prior to that was inappropriate.  I thought maybe he had one too many or something.  Perhaps, he felt the need to be rude because I did not respond to his advanced.  He is 46, extremely over weight, bald and not to mention married with 2 children.  I know his wife too.  He got short with me because I didn't respond to his "flirting".  This has nothing to do with one's race, nor gender.  This has to do with one individual being disrepectful and dishonest, showing a bad side of their character.  Just because I am single for now, does not mean that I will respond to any male who pays attention to me.  

Just because I am 30 and not remarried yet lol...does not mean I am desperate.  I still have a desired type, I still have a criteria.  I still want compatiblity.  The major difference is, I don't NEED a man, I want one, but the right one.  To me, it seems like one of the hardest concepts for ppl to grasp.  Especially, my gf's who are married.  Every time I turn around they wanna introduce me to one of their husbands friends.  I know they mean well.  But I am not stressing about the fact that I am single, I'm not worried about it.  When the time is right it will happen with the right person.  No need to push issues or be in a total hunt.  And right now I have a crush on the gas station boy.  He is appealing to my eyes.  Am I hoping to marry him and have more kids and live in a white picket fence with him?  No.  lol. Lust is what I am feeling.  Do I look at every man that pays attention to me as a "potential" ...No.  I see them as a normal human being striking up a pleasant conversation.  

I guess that is enough said for now.  Like I have mentioned before I love writing....and I can go on and on and on.  lol.