JJohns01

Losing Hope

2009-05-06T23:04:11-04:00

Hey everyone

These times are tough for me. I know that my problems comparied to others isn't that big. But i just need to get this off my chest.

Lately i was the happiest i could be i had everything i wanted i wasnt fighting with hannah or rachel and nothing could stop me from being happy. Until the next night the first thing was that i tried talkin to hannah but she said she wasnt in the mood so i left it at that. Than rachel txt me and that only last a few minnutes till she stopped. Than the other night i tried hannah again and she said that she didnt want to talk and i asked did i do something wrong she said nothing back. So now i am in a tough place. I really could care less if i talk to rachel, she isnt the friend that hannah is. I would still like to talk to her its just not my top priority.

With hannah its just a stronger conection and now that i dont know if were still friends or if i did something wrong. I see her everyday in school and i know she is looking at me i can feel it so i dont know what her deal is. Its to the point now that i dont know what to do with myself. I feel so worthless and like giving up on it all.

If anyone has any advice it would be vary welcome.

For those of you who dont know much about me. I guess i'm popular thats what ppl tell me i dont like that title. I'm a starter on the football team i am just a regular high school student.

How do you tell someone you like them

2008-12-14T17:34:35-05:00

Hey everyone,

This time i have a question for you to think about.

Well there is this girl in my school. And she is vary beautiful, smart, funny. Just a great person overall. But there is a problem, i dont know how to tell her that i like her. I have tried asking her out to the movies, And stuff like that but she is vary busy because of the holiday season. I dont know if she likes me like that. We have small talk in school. We joke around with each other. I just dont know how to express my feelings towards her.

I was just wondering if you had any advice for me. Thank you for your time

God is Love

-Jacob

Unbelievable

2008-12-12T18:34:21-05:00

Hey everyone,

Well i there are some times in our lives when we meet some people that are so cruel and mean that you wonder why God ever made them. Well this is what i have encountered today.

Last Night there was a basketball game at my high school. And my friend came and her and this other guy have a thing kinda. Well she was having a fun time getting in to the game. And the guy was just sitting there not saying a word to her. And i wonder what she see's in him. Well latter that night she text me and says "Jacob i dont know how to tell him that i cant be with him, because of things going on in my life." Well the things going on in her life is her mom is vary sick and just a hard time right now. And i tell her that he should understand if you tell him and it will be fine. She told him that night and texted me back and said was "ok good night."

What a fuckin ass hole. She is going through alot and he cant be there for her. What should she do about this? I told her he isnt worth it you deserve better than that.

I guess what i am trying to say is that this guy is so fuckin unbelievable he is a damn prick. People i am sorry for the fowl language but come on he needs to be there. Now she is pissed. And i am doing my best to keep her happy. If you could give me some advice it would be vary welcome.

God is Love

-Jacob

Jesus in our lives

2008-12-11T23:22:27-05:00

Hey everyone, now i dont calm to be an expert on Jesus. I jut have a few moments. And i would like to share them with you.

The first one i think i already said but i will say it again. The girl i thought i could have because of my popularity. She is vary close to god and i made her sad. So i felt bad. And i couldnt stand being away from her so i made up with her. And we are good friends.

The other one i havent told anyone is when me and my family went to Peru, my birth place, and we meet this family. They had a mud house not all that big with bed rooms and an out side porch. And they sold coca cola. To us americans we think that is nothing and they are dirt poor. People this family was so happy. With what little they had they were so happy. Every award they have is hanging on a wall, and a pet turtle. People these people were closer to Jesus than most of us can ever get. We attened church that night. All in spanish i didnt understand one word. But at the end the preist said something about me and my family. How my parents adopted me and my sister. Everyone claped. And at the end this vary old lady came to my mom and dad and said something in spanish. We didnt know what she said, but we did know she was thankful she took my sister and i out of there. And gave us a better life. I will never forget that moment Jesus thanked my parents for giving us a better life.

People whatever you have, no matter how much or how little be thankful for it. Because things could be a whole lot worse. Thank God everyday you get a chance to change the world or someones life. We have a reason to be here so go find it. We need to go find Jesus, and cast out the devil from our lives. Praise God! And may you one day find Jesus

God is Love

-Jacob

Egos get in the way of Jesus

2008-12-11T19:05:12-05:00

Hey everyone. Well this past weekend i went to church, and our preist was talking about how our egos get in the way of Jesus. And with certain events that have happened in my life.

I thought i could get a girl because of who i was. That she would automaticaly want me because i had popularity. That was a big mistake. What happened was i got hurt and it was all because of my ego. If i just would have just treated her as an equal things could have been different. But now i see the lord is strong in her. This was a test from god. And i failed. Now i have put that behind me and i am friends with her. And i keep her close to my hart, because i see the light of christ in her.

I guess what i am trying to say is never think you are better than anyone. Always treat them with respect, never look down on them because they arent like you. Jesus is all around us. And we need him more than ever in these hard times.

God is Love

-Jacob

Is Life worth it??

2008-12-10T22:52:51-05:00

Is Life really worth all the pain and suffering we go throught? Is life really worth all the hardship and hart break? Will life ever get easier?

These are just some of the questions we may ask our selves through out our lives. Life is a journey and no one said it would be easy. But Is it worth it, when it comes to the hard stuff and even the stuff that seems omost impossible. YES!!!! That is the stuff that makes us stronger.

I have a good friend, someone i can always turn to. And she has experiencent more than her fair share of hardship. In the past year 2 of her friends have died. Her mom is vary sick now. And she cant figure out why people dont like her. And i have told her many times. " Dont give up i know times are hard and it seems like you will never be happy again. But keep your head up and look for that little light of happiness. When you see that light go for it, dont hesitate." Now she has found a great guy. And i hope them two are happy.

I guess what i am saying is, never give up on life. Yes i know right now it is hard but it will get better it always does. Just keep moving. And we can get through this together.

God is Love

-Jacob

Who they want me to be.

2008-12-09T21:37:29-05:00

I am a senior at my high school. Most people would say i am popular, i could careless. But see my life isnt what i make it seem. I dont like the continuous fighting, with in my "group." I dont like wearing the designer brand cloths.

I smile so they dont think i am weird. The girl i liked was in another group, and i think the reason she didnt like me was cuz my friends had been mean to her. They changed me, in some ways good, and in others bad. I cant talk to certain people, i have to act a certain way. Some people think that i have the perfect life. "oh he is a rich boy mom and dad buy's everything for him."

I hate that when people think the only reason i am talking to them is so i can get something in return. I cant get out of it cuz i am omost done with school. Then i can go to college and finally have a quite life a peaceful life. And hopefully find the right girl to be with.

You know my life is just the same as everyone eles' i but my pants on just like everyone eles. Sure mine might be bigger than yours but they are the same. So i cant do anything. I lost the girl i liked and now i must try to piece back my life so i can at least get back to where i was at the start of the school year.

People think that retreats for breaking up cliques work. To be honest i dont think they do. There will always be the "popular" group. The "outcast", the "normal", it will never change and it is sad it really is

-Jacob

Relationship Struggles

2008-12-09T20:03:49-05:00

Hey everyone its me again. Well this time i am goin to talk about relationships. I know i am not an expert on realtionships but i do know that the proses is long and isnt easy. A couple months ago i started to really take an interest in this girl that goes to my school. We texted on the phone alot during the summer. And when school came around we started to talk in person. And then one day i ask her if she wants to go to the movies. She said "i dont know, ill have to ask my parents." but latter she said she couldnt. It was no big deal at the time i asked her a few more times and it wasnt till about mid way between september that she said she would do something with me. So we went to a resturant and had a nice supper. Everything was going great. We keep on talkin and after a football meeting she said i could come over to watch a movie. So i did it was great just us two hanging out in her basement. I thought nothing could bring me down, I was wrong. A couple of weeks went by then some of my friends started to tell me she was bad. They said "she is just using you because you are popular, and she isnt." Did i beleave them of course not. I didnt care what they said. Well homecoming came around, and I was so happy that i found her, so happy that i dedicated my sr. year homecoming to her. We lost the game, but it was fine. Another couple of weeks went on and after a football game we just talked in the parking lot for about an hour. Everything was going the way i wanted it to. More time went by and again after a football meeting with my coachs i went over to her house. This time i watched her clean her room and we just talked and i listen to her sing. That was the last time i would ever go over there. After that.... my ego got in the way. I asked her our and she said she wasnt looking for a relationship. That sucked alot, so i didnt talk to her for about a week. She texts me asking what is wrong. I told her "are you using me because i am popular," she said "no why would you say that." We fought about it and in the end i believed her. Now lets fast forward to December. I go to a basketball game to see that she is there with another guy. I was pissed off, she told me earlier that she wasnt looking for a relationship and then she shows up with this guy. I find our latter they had been together for a while now. So this weekend we have this big fight. I mean to the point where i said i dont want to be your friend anymore, and i delete her number from my phone. Now people this is where my problem is. Can i trust her anymore? She lied to me about not wanting a relationship. And i believed her but then she is hanging out with this guy. that she has only talked to for a few weeks. I mean i kno that i have only talked to her for a couple months. But still. Well sunday i texted her. I wrote her a message on facebook telling her that i screwed everything up and that i dont deserve her, stuff like that. Well i said how about we just start over. So we did and now we talk again. But see people the thing is that i still have some feelings for her. I told her that him and her would be perfect together. I dont know what to do about this. If anyone out there has advice it would be vary welcome i need advice. Thank you for your time

-Jacob