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| Holy Water, Batman!!! |
Unless iceburg lettuce is on sale for 99-cents or less I won’t buy it. I don’t care much for the stuff. It tastes worse when I can’t buy it on sale. I prefer the green leaf lettuce that comes wrapped in a red rubber band. It is sold by the pound, not the head.
Why is it that every time I reach for a head of green leaf lettuce the sprinkler system comes on, saturating my purchase with water? Since I’m paying $1.69 per pound I don’t want my lettuce covered in water. Water is much heavier than lettuce. I have water at home and it only costs me pennies per gallon. I don’t want to buy the store’s water at 1.69 per pound.
People look at me funny when I vigorously shake the cluster of lettuce to remove the excess water before weighing it. I don’t understand their puzzled looks. It’s not like I’m shaking the water on the floor. I shake it back into the vegetable bin. Just when I’m satisfied that I’ve removed most of the water, the sprinkle comes on again, dousing my lettuce with another 50-cents worth.
I think the employees get paid to spy on the vegetable bin. Although they appear to be giving away free food samples, they actually have access to a water-control device. When they’re sure our attention is focused on our vegetables, they hit the spritzer button. I’ll bet they get paid a bonus if they succeed in adding and additional fifty dollars to the store’s daily profit.
It’s rare that I’ll buy shrimp, but when I do I prefer the bags that are pre-weighted and frozen. I seldom buy the eye-appealing shrimp sitting on crushed ice in the deli department. Each piece is coated with ice that gets weighted right along with the shrimp. I tell the employee to knock that ice off before he drops the shrimp on his scale. If I won’t pay 1.69 a pound for lettuce-water, why would I pay 14.99 a pound for shrimp water?
Never buy bananas that hang on those metal trees in the cereal section. Kids play with them. They get their jollies by squeezing the fruit and leaving it there. You can’t tell until the next day that your bananas were dead on arrival. I buy my bananas in the produce department only. I pick them from the highest shelf. Kids can’t reach up that high.
Some people don’t bother to bag their veggies and fruit. They just toss them onto the checkout belt where they roll around in old hamburger and chicken juices left by previous customers. How often do you think they wash those belts with bleach? Never?
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Posted by JCWinters on 2009-11-07 11:18:00 | Rating: | Views: 11
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