I have spent the last three months being mostly miserable and suffering in silence....well minus the time I spent here. I had pretty much resigned myself to living the life I had. That's changed somewhat.  I managed to speak my mind and we'll see where that takes me. How long does one practice the definition of insanity? 5 yrs? 10? I don't know the answer. I think I'm going to find out. Why is falling out of love something you don't notice until you try to fall back into love with them? How long can you negelect someone until it's permanent damage....however slightly? When you've reached indifference.....what do you do? The amazing thing is that when I said...."you don't see me!" he laughed like I was kidding.........when I said " you don't desire me...." he just looked at me.....when I explained that I got tired of loving enough for both of us.....and quit he stared and said in a small voice...." I desire you...." oh really? prove it. It's scary to have someone stand in front of you and challenge your day to day existance. It's easy to go through the motions of life and never rock the boat. This is the last time I rock this boat.