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| Looking for My Heart of Gold
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Have you ever honestly asked someone if he or she is happy? I'm not talking about the polite how are you doing that we toss out 20 times at day. I'm talking about a concerned and sincere, "Are you happy?"
One problem with that question, or any question really, is are you prepared to be interested in the answer? A lot of people are not happy and they are just waiting for someone who is interested or who they can trust. Even when someone is happy it is hard to open up about it. It is hard to find people to trust.
Another problem is that a lot of times people just want to know if you are happy in regards to how it relates to them, not you. My wife has asked if I am happy, not so much because she is concerned about me but because she is concerned that I will leave. She has told me a number of times that she doesn't know how she would be able to take care of herself. I lie to her and tell her I'm happy and everything is fine. How can I be honest with someone who will use my answers to make me feel worse?
Yesterday N was telling me about this new guy she is dating. I asked her if she is happy. It was a sincere question, unconditional. She said yes. I could tell that it made her happy that I was interested in how she is feeling.
I want two things: I want someone that I can be completely honest with without worrying about how they will react to what I tell them because I know they love me unconditionally. And I want someone to be interested in my happiness - I want someone who wants me to be happy simply because she loves me.
I leave you with Neil Young:
I want to live
I want to give
I've been a miner for a heart of gold.
It's these expressions I never give
That keep me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old. |
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Posted by HungryHeart on 2008-01-16 23:55:02 | Rating: | Views: 117
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truly happy...wow. i wonder what thats like? lol. i am not sure if i am happy...sometimes i feel like my life is one long distraction after another from how UNhappy i am. does that make sense? certain things make me happy and so i jump from happy thing to happy thing and try to leave as little space between them as possible. its that desperately sad space in between that drags me down every time.
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Posted by kmalbro
on 2008-01-17 17:15:25
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I experience pure happiness, complete and true, every time I get on a train and step off in Newcastle into the arms of my man....unfortunately I also feel the total opposite everytime the train leaves to take me back and I have to watch him on the platform, getting smaller and smaller until I can't see him anymore. I cannot wait until August, when I shall be getting on that train to Newcastle for the last time, and then I will be happy everyday for the rest of my life...of that if nothing else, I am certain.
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Posted by chebtastic1
on 2008-01-19 12:34:21
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